Blessings

We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel you near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if each promise from Your Word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win, we know
That pain reminds this hearts,
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?

What if my greatest disappointments,
Or the aching of this life,
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy.
What if trials of this life,
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise?
   

Be on a Lookout

for false teachers because "false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction" (2 Peter 2:1-3) and to "test everything; hold fast what is good" (1 Thessalonians 5:21).

Listen to what John Piper has to say about the so-called 'Prosperity Gospel' and why it's abominable.

Key verse: 1 Timothy 6:6-11

Night Falls

The night falls and the greater light ceded duty to its lesser counterpart. As I prepare for nightfall, it marks the beginning of yet another 'day' for many – man and other creatures alike.

Perhaps it's been so many nights (more than a week) filled with that greyish tint of a somewhat acrid scent that I find tonight especially beautiful. Rain in the past two days, twice today, did seem to freshen things up.

The Milky Way and a tank on Lemnos Island, Greece. (Credit: Konstantinos Vasilakis)

I saw the stars sitting pretty before the blue, night sky (yes, night skies are blue) limited by the size of my window. It's enough.

For from this calmness burst forth a thousand voices. Yet, as I hit my make-believe F5 button, I saw what I had seen moments ago: calm and quiet.

So, be it a flutter and a flurry, or a lull and a hush, I'll take them into my REM sleep knowing things are indeed in control. From the rotation of the Earth to the teardrop from that deep yawn.
 

Stupidity: Things Above and Not Things Here on Earth

The things of God are stupidity to many. Nobody, of his or her own volition, seeks after God or things that please Him. If you’re that person, you can stop reading now. After all, if you’re looking for a cogent argument this isn’t the place. If any, only a simple faith exists. Many who argue against what I'm going to say (or type, for that matter) have already made up their mind, not in the least concerned about cogency and rigour, and I won’t bring the roof down doing that.

Think about it for a moment. If our value system is not shaped by the Bible (Matt. 6:19-24), the things we value or treasure consistently let us down when we seek our significance, or satisfaction, or security in those things. The energy spent in pursuing what we think those things will provide—happiness, security, satisfaction—consistently lead to failure. The pleasures we think will satisfy us never really do—at least not for long. In fact, they typically just increase our thirst for more. What futile irony!! Such irony is plainly the very fabric of life when it is lived independently of God.

J. Hampton Keathley, III
Resting in God’s Sovereignty

Christians or not, people stock up (rightly) to the point that these material riches become their only goal (wrongly). The “attainable” goal of a comfortable life. Nothing wrong, right? I put “attainable” because everyone thinks that once it’s achieved, we’d step back, sit down, and enjoy. But the fact is, will it ever be enough?

Now God and the Bible aside, I’ve heard on more than one occasion people who proclaimed: “there’s more to life than {insert your goals here}”. Sure thing. There’s more to doing research than to lose sleep over whether the neighbouring lab’s going to outdo and out-publish in a month’s time.

There’s God.

If only people would align their goals to God’s. Instead of asking, “What should I eat, wear, or the type of property to own?” asks, “What do I do with my gifts?” or “How can I bring glory to God?”

I’m perhaps the biggest hypocrite to be saying all these and echoing Paul, “the least and the most unworthy”. Somehow, the toiling and the sustained rush over the past months; plus the little eye-opening chitchats with driven folks did put into perspective the futility of it all when done to satisfy humanity’s benchmark.

What’s prosperity without a purpose? Self-glory is for the here and now. Said Solomon: Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
    and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
    nothing was gained under the sun

Ecclesiastes 2:11

I’m not going to change anyone. But I don’t wish to waste my time achieving everything, rely on my [self-perceived] great understanding + knowledge, giving in to the physical pleasures and contemporaneously bankrupting my spiritual life.

No, no. I’m not entering monkhood nor am I shunning the good things in life [that God has created]. All I’m saying is that I need to have my own convictions and not do as everyone else does.

It’s not easy to close my eyes and walk. It’s not too difficult not to peek either, or remove the blindfold and say, “Fine, I’ll do what I know best.”

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

1 Timothy 6:6-10 

If only the Bible hasn’t been relegated in favour of modern, up-to-date societal demands, or verses cherry-picked to fit [our goals and justify our actions] into the world (oh, we see this often among religionists, don’t we?).

I only hope and ask from God that more people will be like-minded when it comes to goals in life — pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. To serve God and not the gods of this world.

See You Again, Buddy!

We walked hand in hand – actually a small fist clasped around an index finger – without a care in the world. On a 2-minute journey to the nearest kiosk. One moment I carry him and we attempted to hit Mach 1. The next, we're in a make-believe toboggan; shrills of delight permeated the living room with each gold coin we collected.

When school's over I'll rush to get your favourite mash potatoes, with extra gravy of course. On your bedside, we attend to your toys in the makeshift playground. Nothing seems to bother you; definitely not the housemen on patrol.

Lil' bro, you could've outgrown Mario and prefers french fries now but it means a lot knowing that you still remember me.

Rest now, we'll meet again some day.

Love, 

'Koko' Julian.

This one's for Darius Low Wei Han. At 14 years and a little over 3 months, some might say untimely but I know that God's timing is perfect. Yes, we grieve. We shed tears. But deep down, we're convinced "that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him... [and] we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever." This particular section of 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 is a great comfort.

Being the youngest in the family, the feeling that came over me when you have little [or younger] ones looking up to you as an older brother was priceless. It was a crash course in responsibility. That my words and actions were observed and being emulated. But it was fun. It was enriching. It's special. Looking back, could I have done better? Yes!

Digitized: Eight years ago in January. One of two treasured photos in my album.

The funeral's in a few hours time and I'm wide awake. Time really flies. Till we meet again, little bro.
 

Cheerio and Frosted Flakes to You

[or] frosted cornflakes [in this part of the world] are my favourite but I have to watch the sugar intake. My Christmas wish came in the form of a comment and a text message (thanks Kak Mimi) a few hours ago.

Then more cheers in the newspaper and the zoo (in the newspaper). And then there's the story about how a military organization called NORAD (short for North American Aerospace Defense Command) and its predecessor began tracking Santa.

"Since that time, NORAD men, women, family and friends have selflessly volunteered their time to personally respond to phone calls and emails from children all around the world."

Wow. Christmas to me centres on a figure much bigger (pun unintended) than jolly Santa. No one knows the exact date when Christ was born and Christmas originates from the pagan holidays. But we know that there's a day in the year that this one person – fully man and fully God – was born into the world to ultimately give His life to atone for the sins of man.

Now, that to me is the "reason for the season". If the story of Santa and the reindeers, or the prospect of partying till daybreak appeal to so many year after year, the story of the "babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger" remains a revitalizing one to me.

It's neither imaginary nor delusionary.

Merry Christmas!

White November: Recollection and Recounting de novo

Even if it's hot and humid here, Malaysians experience the occasional whiteout caused by a really heavy downpour especially now that the monsoon season is upon us. Elsewhere, it's pumpkin, candles, and snowfall.

September and October have said their goodbyes (good riddance!) and I'm welcoming November. And I can feel the noose tightening around my neck. Anyone realize that time somehow moves faster when we're hoping that they'd just slow down? Maybe it's just me dwelling in the past.

For so many reasons, I wish to be stuck in May and maybe, July. With each passing month, it becoming more and more difficult to complete this arduous journey. One made worse by the vista of decadence (huh?) and the filth emanating from it; all sustained by a stream flowing from that deceitful heartland (what?)

I can't think straight at the moment but my hope for November is... I wonder if there's anything I should look forward to.

The good feelings from six months ago? Is it the carefree days of June? Wait! The felicitous upshots of July? Those were the [more recent] days, and were being the operative word.

All I know is that the alarm has been set to go off at 8 and I have a huge amount of debt to settle – sleep debt accumulated from the past few weeks, that is.

     

Cheers and Tears

Preparations are underway for National Day as well as Hari Raya and Facebook is abuzz with updates by those on their way home. And non-Muslims join in the gaiety by posting wishes and tagging their Muslim friends.

On the other extreme, we learn of road deaths [and other mishaps] in the news and the newspaper.

The past few days have been wet and chilly with a brief period of sunshine. Still, I find it quite uncomfortable even if rainy days are great for slumber; its getting really moist in my room.

If anyone (me) thinks this small inconvenience is a pain, then wait till a hurricane touchdown. I'm sure most are familiar with Irene and the situation in the US East Coast (I prefer the alternate term Eastern Seaboard).

There you go, a pathetic attempt juxtapose the extremes. Imagine if we could take each person from both sides and cause them to switch places, I'm sure both would be really thankful. Since we can't do that, well, at least not putting people into a disaster-ravaged area, we can only encourage and help those who complain to see that "others had it worse".

Still, I fully understand the difference between saying something and then doing it. As long as it'll take, it's still possible. Gotta have faith, no? And a well-placed one too. That's when we know for certain that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't "a speeding train headed our way".

Let's rest on these:

What Faith Can Do - Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes

Gotta find the strength to rise

From the ashes and make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache

You think it’s more than you can take

But you're stronger, stronger than you know

Don’t you give up now

The sun will soon be shining

You gotta face the clouds

To find the silver lining
:

 

Back When

A friend shared a video on her Facebook wall and the moment I hit play, a familiar face greeted me. I've seen this guy somewhere and half a seconds later, I remembered. Nick was the reason I penned a short verse back in 2007; August 23 to be exact.

When I finished, I wasn't sure where I'd post that and it hit me, I'd have my own corner here in cyberspace. The rest, like they say, is history.

Four years on and over 250 posts later, I'm glad I'm still the same inside. Still that guy who prefers the quiet of his house and declining many invites to "hang out". By certain definition, I'm what they call a loser. But if not getting wasted and to spend money unnecessarily is deemed a loser, then I gladly embrace it. There's nothing more important to me than to be who I really am. Of course, I don't live a cloistered life. I had my share of fun these years with wonderful people I've met along the way.

I suppose I'm thankful to God for doing what He's done thus far; for with my own strength, I wouldn't be the person I am today. Looking at how Nick lives, I'm all the more thankful for what I have at this moment. Still, many times I find myself whine and complain too much. I'm sure many do that too (right? :)) and somehow we seem to be so prone to take things for granted. Seen that ever so often in myself, people around me, and even on Y!A.

And Nick comes along to sort of put us in our place. I need to be more appreciative of the goodness showered upon me each day, even if it meant the slice of sponge cake on the table is still edible – for lunch.

Enjoy the clip. It's been four years and he's enjoying his life since the first day I "met" him online.

Back when...

Here's the very first post that I mentioned above: Life Without Limbs

 

And the Glory Goes to...

Remember I wrote about how much I like looking at randomly-lit cityscape painted by artificial lights set in front of a dark background? I was looking through the pictures I snapped with my camera phone (funny how they’d come up with the name) and most are pictures of the sky. Not totally skies but you know, more up and than down?

Also, those pictures are usually warm which means they’re either taken at dawn or dusk. It’s during sunset that I feel really at ease and letting the throes of the day fade into the darkness. No doubt the sunrise is a sight to behold but where I am, we usually anticipate a hot and sweaty day ahead.

It’s different about 12 hours later when it’s dry and the mercury’s falling. You’d feel things beginning to slow down reaching equilibrium with how intense the wave hits the rock. Soon, life begins both here on the ground and up in the sky.

I’m glad I was there with my trusty Sony Ericsson K530i.

Early in the morning with the white balance set to "cloudy"

Some time in the morning

Late one evening at USM

A wonderful place to be in the evening; more so if its breezy. This is the "rock"-y place I was talking about. Across the road from Queensbay Mall.

Teluk Kumbar: Out looking for seafood and since dinner takes a while to be served...

Ok, now I’m being effusive and at the same time, bland. Perhaps, this God-suspired nature is able to communicate its splendour – differently every time – to everyone who takes time to see.

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge.
They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them.
Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.

Psalm 19:1-4

Lord, regardless whether one prefers 7 am or 7 pm, I thank you for each new day and your providence throughout.

 

Letting Go

It’s been an eventful (or uneventful depending on how you wish to see it) day. I’ve replaced the strings on the guitar and spent some back-breaking time getting it in tune, for now.

Then there’s Youtube. As usual, I have my daily routine of [feather] weights and crunches. Boy, I’ve lost so much weight for the past two months; not that I’m fat to begin with.

As I wind down, I realize that there’s only so much one can do and try as we might, sometimes things just don’t go the way we’d have wished them to go. Be it as it may, we’d take comfort knowing that nothing ever happens by chance or by accident. I know that God is in control. It’s just the matter of yielding to God.

Sometimes, the fist ought to be opened or grip relaxed and we let go what we’ve been holding on to. Only then can we raise our hands in surrender; not admitting defeat, instead, to acknowledge the sovereignty of God.

Whoever said letting go of something or someone is always easy? But if it’s meant to be that way, then we’d have to be gracious about it. I’d like to remind myself, and anyone reading of course, that nothing ever happens by chance. And things occur for a reason, even if we’d never know what it is. Not now.

 

The Rock That Is...

Did this for a friend some time back. Now when I'm down and out, strangely I felt it's now directed at me. As usual, click to enlarge.

I'm sure many can relate to this: that when things go wrong we start to go into fight-flight mode and refuse to look beyond the quandary we're in. It's just natural to do that; to ask ourselves if there are other solutions. And to come up with one if we haven't already done that.

Then it hit us. Let it be. Let God. Trust him to provide. Scoffers are going to say, "What? Sit and wait?"

I certainly don't mean that. What I'm saying is that whilst we're a fusspot, we have to really bring it all to God and trust Him to do what's best for us. What's more important, to let things fall into place according to His will.

Argh! Let's give it a try shall we? And who knows, in time, we'd be able to proclaim like the psalmist

I will love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Psalm 18.1-2

Edit: Someone led me to this. And of course, there are a few others too. What I did was just embed one here. Grace by Laura Story. Enjoy, people!

 

Mudslide, Mountains, and A Mustard Seed

It’s just past 2 A.M. and I love the quiet of such hour. As much as I love staying up and croon to the melody of Jose Mari Chan’s Beautiful Girl, I’m aware of the effects of messing up my circadian rhythm.

So, I was out on another excursion to the blogs of total strangers. I love the different styles of writing that I encountered along the way. That, coupled with the stories told, made for a good read; if not inspiring and heart-warming. It’s so nice to see how close a parent-child relationship is from merely a sentence to how involved and supportive parents are in the next.

Initially, I meant for this post to be about Dante and Beatrice on unrequited love but thanks to a bandwidth well spent, I’ve come to realize that matters of the heart is infinitesimal compared to what people went through in their life.

I learned (from HERE) of one man (Tow Shung, Tan) who persisted in his fight against cancer to the very end but remained optimistic throughout. What would I do if I were him? Maybe I’d wallow in the mud of self-pity and get up, only to return into the pits again.

Another is about another man (David Ting) who began blogging during his treatment of cancer and he has been blogging ever since. One per day.

That reminds me of something I read about Polycarp and Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego; different outcomes yet the same display of faith to an ever faithful God. I might have missed the big picture and the important lesson in faith, and faith in God alone.

Resolution?

Getting Old?

Is it true that when a person hits a certain number in life, they begin doing things they've never done before? Not necessarily something drastic like... I don't even know what they do.

What I'm trying to say is I look back more now than I did years back. I miss my schooldays so much. The before- and after-school street soccer. The loud talking in a noisy canteen. The banters. The punishment — oh yes, we're the vibrant ones. And then there was the crooning behind the lecture theatre; not Backstreet Boys nor 'N Sync, just the hits from the times when we're still suckling. Also, who can forget the little crushes that comes when a five years (11 if you include primary school) of all-boys environment ended in sixth form (pre-U if you'd like). The fleeting glances. The smiles. The blushes and flushes.

Those were the things that raced (some floated gently) through my mind. It all seemed too fast. Yesterday I was 16 and today I'm 26. Besides the past, I always anticipate, cautiously, what the future holds. A lack of faith in the Lord? Really? Well, as much as I'd like, I do get swept into that wave of apprehension at the thought of things to come.

I've intended for this piece to be short but I found this piece posted by my friend somewhere. It's about what I've just said up there; about our attempt to unseat the original singers of some well-known songs. *laughs*

Here goes (unabridged and in its entirety) . Links at the bottom:

Of singing at the back of lecture theatres

"Why do birds, suddenly appear? Everytime..You are near..
Just like me....They long to be...Close to you" -Close to you...by The Carpenters-

ahh...one of the classic songs that was sung at the back of lecture theatres throughout my 6th form years.
Actually...Why do we do it? Is it because we're seeking attention? Or is the 6th form syllabus taking a toll on us?Releasing study pressure perhaps? Whatever the reason, we always had fun when we're singing at the back of the class. Yes!! We do get stares from the other students(like they're gonna murder us or something).

And who are my partners in crime??
Drum roll please...jeng jeng jeng jeng...my brothers Chang Yan Wai, Julian Chin, Hor Zian Khang, Edwin Lee(chinese rapper), Jiwan, Woo Yuen Thern, Thopson Ooi
These guys deserve a special mention...I love all of them(not in a gayish way)..hahahahaha
Thanx brothers for all the good times....The below is a little something for u all....Cheers

"So I say....Thank you for the music, the songs I’m singing
Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing
Who can live without it, I ask in all honesty....What would life be?
Without a song or a dance what are we?
So I say thank you for the music
For giving it to me"

-Thank You For The Music...by ABBA-

posted by slacker @ 7:40 PM
the slacker's hideout

Holding On, Letting Go - Ross Copperman

Song featured in the seventh season finale of CSI:NY. There are things which we let go and others we hold on to, hence the labels applied to the post. As for me, I have made my choice. What about you?

It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't
It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed
Some prayers find an answer some prayers never know
We're holding on, and letting go

Psalm 73

You heard me. read correctly.

Life in Motion: And Here I Go Again

I saw a word today that sounded nice and foreign at the same time. It reminded me of how I chose to tread on alone; refusing help even when it gets really tough.

I guess the clouds are all squeezed dry now that it has stopped raining. The sloughy mixture of water and soil has fully covered the lower half of my body. Gosh! Why didn't I see it when it was dry a day earlier? Why was I so complacent, thinking to myself what could go wrong? How wrong I was.

It was even more foolish to refuse help from that guy - fiercely - and asking him what a frail man could do to get me out. I cursed the ground. And the sky. And anything else I could think of, that caused this malady. I looked up and I made out Scorpio. the constellation. And I saw pride.

When light came, I started digging around me until what was left couldn't sustain me anymore.

It's been a month now and I must say I did quite well getting out. Not quite. I didn't, actually. The last thing I felt and saw were the soft clay and rock which were deposited around my hips.

And the word? Yesharim.

Self Evaluation

I'm sad to read in the news how there were two more bids to burn churches and in another related incident, a black paint was splashed. I'm sad to see how my country seems to breed fanatics akin to that in Pakistan and elsewhere where chaos reigns supreme.

But then, these allow Christians everywhere to ask themselves one simple question: "How I felt?"

Yes, how we felt? Was it anger? Or anger which then simmers down to forgiveness [after reading Matthew 5:39]? Or was it an urge to pray for God's protection and for forgiveness for the perpetrators? I'd never know what went through the minds of believers right up to the church leaders. What I know is that it's good exercise to put into actions what we've learn every now and then from sermons and bible studies. After all, faith [in Jesus and His nature] is dead without works.

We're called to praise God in every circumstances and surely God sees. So, [as a reminder to myself] love and bless those who curse you. Truly, God is love and we're compelled to love as He loved.

Heralding Peace in 2010

Here's my take on the Herald issue regarding the use of the word Allah as a pronoun to replace God in the Malay language.

It's so restless everywhere and even on Facebook where the 'defenders' are fanning the whole affair. I think the magazine should just pause and think what is wrong with using the word Tuhan to represent God since in Malaysia (not Saudi) there's a Malay word for it besides Allah.

I don't know if it's about reputation but I think a Catholic (called Christian by others) publication shouldn't strive so much to use a word. It doesn't matter that much does it? It's just not right to fight so much over the use of words and I think they'd just use "God" and avoid so much flare.

I won't risk a backlash by commenting on the Muslim side. But I think everyone should just shut up if they cannot stop resorting to using strong insensitive provocative words.

God bless, y'all.


PS. Oh God, could you please mediate the dispute? But then again, I don't think they'd ever listen to you. After all, they think of themselves as God; playing you. Sigh...

Reads:

High Court grants Catholic publication Herald the right to use ‘Allah’ word again

Minister violated rights of Herald publisher, court told

Government calls for calm over Allah court ruling issue

Allah issue: PM urges calm while Govt appeals court’s decision

Of Herald, Allah (on Malaysiakini) and my chat with Indonesians

After All These Years

Looking back in retrospect, we see the things we'd love to relive, the wrongs we'd have corrected or not commit, the hurts we'd love to brush aside and pretend they never did occur. Also, reflecting on the things we've [or haven't] been doing everyday will either make us proud or be ashamed. After all these years, I'm glad I feel these vibes for I am what I am; weathered by circumstances.

This and many other songs have good compositions making my past time all the more enjoyable. People may think I'm a weirdo for doing all the behold-this-is-my-past thing but different people look for an escape differently, no? Speaking of composition, it's been some time since I last lay, sprawled on the floor and scribble away on the back of a used envelope or a flyer and once done, post it here with a yellow-orange font.

And now I ask myself, after all these years, (1) what is the one thing I'm proud of doing? (2) what is the single most regretful thing I've done / not done? (3) would I make any changes / a difference given the chance to go back?

Have fun with Journey's After All These Years.