Tak Pernah Berubah

Tempted to make a post in Malay but decided to hold off until later.

Tak Pernah Berubah, the title of the song by Suki Low (of One in a Million fame if you didn't already know). YouTube video of the song at the end of the post. Not sure if it's just me or there's really a hint of, for lack of a better word, poignancy throughout the song but relaxing nonetheless.

Never Did Change. I reckon that to be the correct translation. And I'd like to think that I never did change too; well, not over to the dark side that is. My view of the local academia remains: that a good percentage of them are selfish and avaricious people seeking office and high praises. But try forcing them back to reality and you'll see a showcase of 'faux intelligence'. In any case, I'll be facing this bunch of people in my thesis defence on September 3. Can hardly wait!

Anyway, I'm quite certain that I can finish the slides before Kak Mimi's engagement on the third day of Aidilfitri. Events such as this do make all the slogging worthwhile. After the defence, I'll look forward to Asyura's wedding on the 16th.

Yours truly with Syura and Kak Mimi. Note: this is 3 years old so what you see ain't what you'll get

Thereafter, interview by for a job with the Ministry of Health (nice way of saying government hospitals/public laboratories) in October. Lastly, a project report at Universiti Malaya in November organized by the Malaysia Toray Science Foundation.

For a moment, it's only natural to think that we have everything drawn out. Plan all we want but it's foolish to be too certain of anything that will happen in the future. The one who trusts in him-/herself will scoff at the notion that nothing is ever certain – or at the idea of a sovereign being – and human knowledge trumps everything.

James reminds that "you do not know what tomorrow will bring". And asks, "What is your life?" (James 4:13-17). Taken out of context, mockers will only be happy to say that it's the slogan of the unambitious. Oh well, I'll be the judge of that.

Stupidity: Things Above and Not Things Here on Earth

The things of God are stupidity to many. Nobody, of his or her own volition, seeks after God or things that please Him. If you’re that person, you can stop reading now. After all, if you’re looking for a cogent argument this isn’t the place. If any, only a simple faith exists. Many who argue against what I'm going to say (or type, for that matter) have already made up their mind, not in the least concerned about cogency and rigour, and I won’t bring the roof down doing that.

Think about it for a moment. If our value system is not shaped by the Bible (Matt. 6:19-24), the things we value or treasure consistently let us down when we seek our significance, or satisfaction, or security in those things. The energy spent in pursuing what we think those things will provide—happiness, security, satisfaction—consistently lead to failure. The pleasures we think will satisfy us never really do—at least not for long. In fact, they typically just increase our thirst for more. What futile irony!! Such irony is plainly the very fabric of life when it is lived independently of God.

J. Hampton Keathley, III
Resting in God’s Sovereignty

Christians or not, people stock up (rightly) to the point that these material riches become their only goal (wrongly). The “attainable” goal of a comfortable life. Nothing wrong, right? I put “attainable” because everyone thinks that once it’s achieved, we’d step back, sit down, and enjoy. But the fact is, will it ever be enough?

Now God and the Bible aside, I’ve heard on more than one occasion people who proclaimed: “there’s more to life than {insert your goals here}”. Sure thing. There’s more to doing research than to lose sleep over whether the neighbouring lab’s going to outdo and out-publish in a month’s time.

There’s God.

If only people would align their goals to God’s. Instead of asking, “What should I eat, wear, or the type of property to own?” asks, “What do I do with my gifts?” or “How can I bring glory to God?”

I’m perhaps the biggest hypocrite to be saying all these and echoing Paul, “the least and the most unworthy”. Somehow, the toiling and the sustained rush over the past months; plus the little eye-opening chitchats with driven folks did put into perspective the futility of it all when done to satisfy humanity’s benchmark.

What’s prosperity without a purpose? Self-glory is for the here and now. Said Solomon: Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
    and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
    nothing was gained under the sun

Ecclesiastes 2:11

I’m not going to change anyone. But I don’t wish to waste my time achieving everything, rely on my [self-perceived] great understanding + knowledge, giving in to the physical pleasures and contemporaneously bankrupting my spiritual life.

No, no. I’m not entering monkhood nor am I shunning the good things in life [that God has created]. All I’m saying is that I need to have my own convictions and not do as everyone else does.

It’s not easy to close my eyes and walk. It’s not too difficult not to peek either, or remove the blindfold and say, “Fine, I’ll do what I know best.”

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

1 Timothy 6:6-10 

If only the Bible hasn’t been relegated in favour of modern, up-to-date societal demands, or verses cherry-picked to fit [our goals and justify our actions] into the world (oh, we see this often among religionists, don’t we?).

I only hope and ask from God that more people will be like-minded when it comes to goals in life — pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. To serve God and not the gods of this world.

A Hand Job on February 14

What better way to spend February 14 than to accomplish something some at my favourite spot: the coffee table. Some preferred the dinner table, work table, and even the countertop (I suppose people get easier access to necessary stuff like whipped cream or napkins).

Cream: for dessert, that is (FantasyStock on dA)

I intended to stay dry so I made sure to work calmly. As the forgotten-who-said-it saying goes, "It's all in the wrist". I have two hands so it's half the time needed. Theoretically.

It took almost half the day before everyone's satisfied and go for a shower. Sweetness! I could remember the last moment before it was over. It was preceded by a sustained increase in heart rate and the anticipatory tremor. Getting there.

And then, that gush of happiness.

A diligent and dexterous digits are the only requirement. The thumb and pinky gently pushes left and right whilst the heel of the palm functions as a support, at times doubling as a weight. The index, middle, and ring finger work their magic in all directions. The index finger teases and twirls; sometimes vigorously, sometimes cautiously. The eyes darting purposefully. Hand-eye coordination, remember?

The other hand looks for and presses at the correct spot.

What next? Clean up. And reevaluate to see if things could be bettered. After this, I have to use my tongue and my lips but that's for another time. But for now, I'm going to rest and bring respite to my tired being. Accomplishing my goals on the coffee table appears to be my raison d'être lately.

The M115 for the right hand and the keyboard for both.

         

Asians in the States

*speaking [inaudibly] in the American accent*

Not sure why YouTube stopped sending digests on Jubilee Project. Be The Change is a timely reminder. And an important one too considering how much focus one puts on a single thing when there are many more things that matter.

So yeah, Be The Change. If I could just italiciZe the word "the".

Be The Change.

Enjoy.

*wipes saliva from lips*

     
         

United Federation of Crows

They come in different forms and traits, and they usually stand in the way between point A and B; B being an objective of A.

Many are made to believe that this group people facilitates the process of getting from A to B but the truth is, they slow things down. Worse, there are times when they only function to be a barricade. You know, that one made of razor wires?

atsoram at sxc.hu

Yes, I've tried to be like a roach. Changing myself to adapt but there's nothing much I could do when there's a minefield to the left and a scarp to the right.

天下乌鸦一样黑

And yes, I understand some 谚语 but in their hànyǔ pīnyīn form. So you Chinese-ed fellas out there who love giving names like "banana" can just keep it to yourselves.

*growling*

Digging a Hole

I'm posting from 2 feet under; within a hole I digged for myself. That's to hide from my embarrassment. Once, I posted something about the great people I've come to hold dear during my two years in the lab and I left out one person.

And this one person is someone quite close to me. In fact, if I were forced to rank those jocund folks, this person would be quite high up. Gosh! An honest mistake on my part yet it felt terrible.

To [Wendy] Kang Wen Tyng, one of the most efficient and hardworking – not to mention, resourceful – workers I've met: you deserve that place among them, well-regarded people. You're making good headway toward in your studies now and I even heard you'll be converting your present work to a doctorate. All the best, girl!

Firdaus & Wendy: We all miss that look on your face, the laughter, and some crazy moments in the lab

We're all behind you. Go get 'em!
     

White November: Recollection and Recounting de novo

Even if it's hot and humid here, Malaysians experience the occasional whiteout caused by a really heavy downpour especially now that the monsoon season is upon us. Elsewhere, it's pumpkin, candles, and snowfall.

September and October have said their goodbyes (good riddance!) and I'm welcoming November. And I can feel the noose tightening around my neck. Anyone realize that time somehow moves faster when we're hoping that they'd just slow down? Maybe it's just me dwelling in the past.

For so many reasons, I wish to be stuck in May and maybe, July. With each passing month, it becoming more and more difficult to complete this arduous journey. One made worse by the vista of decadence (huh?) and the filth emanating from it; all sustained by a stream flowing from that deceitful heartland (what?)

I can't think straight at the moment but my hope for November is... I wonder if there's anything I should look forward to.

The good feelings from six months ago? Is it the carefree days of June? Wait! The felicitous upshots of July? Those were the [more recent] days, and were being the operative word.

All I know is that the alarm has been set to go off at 8 and I have a huge amount of debt to settle – sleep debt accumulated from the past few weeks, that is.

     

End-of-Life: A Commentary to Y2K 11-10

Some are familiar with EOL and some don't. EOL means two things to me: Windows XP in April 2014 and life. Since the former is predictable, no, it's confirmed, all I have to do is make preparations for it; details of which are yet unknown.

Life is more unpredictable. I might not even get the chance to hit the "Publish" button on this post, unlikely but possible. Now, life and some decisions to be made form the theme of Y2K 11-10. Back in '99, in the run up towards midnight of December 31, there's a piece about the Y2K bug at least once a week. Some predicted a total chaos whilst others scrambled to upgrade their system.

I remember waking up the next day hoping to hear the siren, smoke, and gunshot. Sadly, it's just another day in life and the school opens for a new term in a few days' time. No anarchy to save us school-going kids.

Nearly 11 years after that, with a better grasp of what life is, I wrote about the unpredictable nature of life one stanza a day in the month of October. Amid the unrest in New York and the world over, I was deep in thought about what to do next.

One moment, I could picture how nice things would turn out for options A through C and disillusionment in the next. Then the EOL of XP hit me: there are things I never prepare enough for. So yeah, there's an expiration date on each of us and some has a price on their head on top of the expiry date.

And?

Got to keep moving; fueled by aspiration, guided in the right direction by wise counsel, and protected by any moral roughage I can gather. Gung-ho eh? Well, everybody's got to start somewhere.

The last stanza was an afterthought, really. To end it properly with a change in season: summer through to winter, the Bealtane of an earlier writing to the approaching Halloween. And lived with with doggedness of Ernest Shackleton.

I rarely explain what I wrote. In fact, this is the second time that the meaning behind a piece is elucidated. Another time was because the intended reader didn't really get it. Oh well, people who write in meandering ways are boring.

   

Y2K 11-10

The Sturm und Drang of Occupied October
Should cause casual commoners like me to quiver
A nascent ripple waxing by the day
Swinging out in every cardinal point and Rome burns today

Oddly, there prevails a state of uncanny equanimity
Permeating the noetic sphere called the mental faculty
From the placidity burst forth the brilliant flashes
It becomes hard to secern excitement from madness

Day 3 if cogitation and getting nowhere
There’s got to be an answer somewhere, but where?
I’m stuck between that man-wrought cave of utter despair
and that doggone whirlpool of delusion and certain snare

The sum of 2 and 2
Summed up the world rotten through and through
I’m not without aspiration nor expiration
And can only hope to emerge unscathed from adulteration

One bittersweet summer repleted by burnt butterscotch
Dwindled away to the cold, carved pumpkins at the porch
The frost of Shackleton’s time will soon gnaw
at our extremities whilst we await the first snowfall.
  

Yoshi! Ikuzo!

Yes, I'm still sane but for how long? I can't tell. I've been motivating myself all day today and for the past weeks; prompting myself to go a step further. 

"Just one more line before you can stop for dinner. Never mind the aroma of baked squid stuffed with minced chicken, fish, shrimps, and crab meat (?)"

Operating from where I am right now, I couldn't have asked for a more strategic location in the house. Five steps to the east is my room. The place I would go to plop myself on the bed and heave loudly every few hours or so.

Five steps (yes, I counted) northwestward lies the kitchen when I need the heaven-sent liquid called water. It tastes sweet when I'm thirsty. Seriously.

The window to the north provides me a view of the outside world and sunsets are always beautiful. I said sunset because I let down the curtain to shield off the glare of daylight. No, I don't glitter nor burn.

Back to the coffee table where I work, it's in the path of the afternoon breeze blowing into my room and exits the window to my left.

A twitch to reposition myself. A scratch on the back to eliminate the itch. Turning my head in circles and shrugging to loosen up. That's about all the "physical activities" involved in a day. Gosh! And at 60 kg, I'm not exactly worried about my size but my heart.

A few hundred pixels away lies the bookmark button to Blogger and Windows Media Player. This is what's keeping me from mental lethargy although I get occasional blocks halfway at the 5100th word.

No English or Mandarin songs for me (even though I don't understand 80% of Mandarin) so I don't have auto-understand the lyrics. I'm switching to Japanese! Woot! I don't understand 8 out of 10 words I hear and I don't wish to either. For good reasons too: I can fully concentrate on making a 5-line sentence broken up in pieces by a mixture of commas, semicolons and dashes; all the time peppering it with words / jargons / phrases worthy of publication in an academic journal.

If I have to choose, I'll still go for blogging. They say all goods things are meant to be shared, so I'm embedding the MV to the song I've been listening to for the hundredth time now.

Sakura ~Anata ni Deaete Yokatta~ (さくら ～あなたに出会えてよかった～; Cherry Blossom ~I'm Glad to Meet You~)
 

The spacebar is not responding well and occasionally, wordsarenotproperlyseparated. Sometimes they do.

24 + 6 = A Possible Windup

We've heard from the sages of old that there's no such thing as "not having enough time" and there's only "a bad time planner". I'm not so sure if 40 years from now I'd be saying that. 

Maybe not. Maybe I'll go, "Since 2000, time planners are an extinct group. With so much to do, their absence and presence are likened to that proverbial drop in the ocean.

"You see, unlike the 1970s, technology has grown by leaps and bounds and more output is required of us. Consequently, as one demand is satisfied..."

Really? Am I just finding excuses? I can't seem to finish anything and even if I did complete a part of it, I was rejoicing inside and immediately took a day worth of break. That's how tough certain things are.

I sleep 7, sometimes 6, at times 5 hours and I (my eyes) absorb blue light for the rest of my waking hours. Still, nothing's crossed out from my to-do list. of things to be done that seem go on and on.

Relaxation comes in the form of grilling that centre-cut fish fillet seasoned with nothing more than just salt and pepper for instance. If I decide to take more time off, then I'd be kneading dough (Newsflash: there's a no-knead bread recipe available online. See? Even bakers need more time to, say, prep a sourdough starter. Or to walk the dog and do the laundry).

It was 8 years (and still counting) ago that I last made pizza. Nowadays, my low-cal floury affair is Indian through and through. Who? Meet Miss Atta, people. That's right, chapati from atta flour. Goes well with that leftover rendang or a mashed up can of mackerel in tomato sauce.

Chapati anyone? Kneading it is rather therapeutic. All that pent-up energy and frustration...

Really, I wish there's an additional six hours or so in a day. Then I'd have nearly 2 days extra per week. Oh well, I've got to suck it up and push on. I'm glad I still come here to freshen up.

Cheers and Tears

Preparations are underway for National Day as well as Hari Raya and Facebook is abuzz with updates by those on their way home. And non-Muslims join in the gaiety by posting wishes and tagging their Muslim friends.

On the other extreme, we learn of road deaths [and other mishaps] in the news and the newspaper.

The past few days have been wet and chilly with a brief period of sunshine. Still, I find it quite uncomfortable even if rainy days are great for slumber; its getting really moist in my room.

If anyone (me) thinks this small inconvenience is a pain, then wait till a hurricane touchdown. I'm sure most are familiar with Irene and the situation in the US East Coast (I prefer the alternate term Eastern Seaboard).

There you go, a pathetic attempt juxtapose the extremes. Imagine if we could take each person from both sides and cause them to switch places, I'm sure both would be really thankful. Since we can't do that, well, at least not putting people into a disaster-ravaged area, we can only encourage and help those who complain to see that "others had it worse".

Still, I fully understand the difference between saying something and then doing it. As long as it'll take, it's still possible. Gotta have faith, no? And a well-placed one too. That's when we know for certain that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't "a speeding train headed our way".

Let's rest on these:

What Faith Can Do - Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes

Gotta find the strength to rise

From the ashes and make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache

You think it’s more than you can take

But you're stronger, stronger than you know

Don’t you give up now

The sun will soon be shining

You gotta face the clouds

To find the silver lining
:

 

Clammy No More

Oh yeah! The sun has decided to step away from the thick clouds and warm things up here on the ground. Two of the five garlic cloves that I buried last week have also decided its time to breach topsoil. And no, I did not arrange nor wait for all these to happen so I can type something here.

Ah, I love this! (Source: stock.xchng)

I'm not in the mood to do a lot of thinking (need some time to warm up, heheh!) so I opened up Notepad and glanced through the points I would like to include in the acknowledgement section of my thesis. Renovation works in the apartment unit below ain't making the environment more conducive; au contraire, mon ami.

Then I came to the following paragraph at the bottom of the document which was sent to me almost two years ago. Each time I read it, I'm impressed by that simple, yet profound (?), reason why people keep doing things that had been done in the past. A very good reminder [from "Sophie"] when faced with doubts and apprehension.

The same holds good for research. There are thousands of scientists who burn the midnight's oil till the day they die and people may never know them or wonder if he has even contributed to society. But when the next person picks up from where he has left, he is providing a platform on which you can continue, and maybe, the next person, is able to achieve or make some remarkable contribution to mankind. A genius at work, he may be, but if nobody researched or published papers in journals, there would be no referrals. So I think success in a society largely depends on this. I know many may disagree.

____________
 

Setting Windows Media Player to shuffle the playlist, the scribe thoroughly enjoyed (surprisingly) Green Day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams besides the usual flavours like Firehouse's Love of a Lifetime or Martika's Toy Soldier. He attributed that to the mind's need for something stimulating. He also strives to cut down on the excessive use of contractions – that'd easily confuse – unless necessary.

 

A Cracking Day, Breaking Wind

Nevermind the title. Those words just came to me after I finished typing.

It’s one of those mornings that really lift your spirit to the point that you’d feel yourself float a few centimetres off the ground as you walked. I have to pick this one up later. Time to go for dim sum with a bunch of friends.

***

And I’m back; after two hours of Chinese tea and some sinfully (read oily) delicious food. Those, coupled with a good laugh with Wendy, Raj, PKC, and LGL. It’s a very good day indeed.

A very breezy – almost blustery – morning and the sunlight wonderfully diffused. Traffic was smooth and it’s a joy to drive; well, it’s a joy for me to drive everyday – the hilly pass and the long, fast straights.

Jelutong Expressway: This doesn't look like much but at 9:30 am, it's really my best-loved kinda weather

Maybe I’d upload some pics later. I know, I know, it’s dangerous to not fully concentrate on the road but well, it’s one of those days. If only everyday is cloudy when I’m awake and it starts to pour when I’m about to sleep.

I don’t think I’ll be having lunch since breakfast is still in transit waiting for the pyloric sphincter to open.

Last night, I posted a question on Y! A (Yahoo! Answers if you don't already know what this is) regarding some Russian letters and a person by the name of Val volunteered to record some words and sent it over to me; which she did two hours later. Ah, I’m so thankful for that wonderful gesture. Thank you, Val, whoever you are. Большое спасибо!

I guess it’s time for me to end here and start yakking with Wendy, who came all the way to Penang just to visit us in the lab. I love Friday. Don’t you?

Edited 6 pm with pictures and a few lines.

Here's what I'd see if I have to get up earlier than usual for meetings with my supervisor. You can bet I'll go trigger-happy with my phone.

At about 6:40 am

Favourite part of my journey (both ways): Up (and down) the hill. Air's great... until about 7-iah

A really smooth journey all the way until USM. Then a stopover for breakfast consisting of teh tarik and roti canai. Beautiful, innit?

All in a 35-minute journey.
    

One Cent at a Time

Dear Sir,

You have to pay RM 750 prior to handing in 10 copies of your thesis. Pay up!

Well, I’ve summarized the contents of the letter I received from the varsity's Institute of Postgraduate Studies today. They weren’t that blunt but still, they’re asking me for money.

Anyway, it did occur to me where and how I’m going to come up with that amount without clearing out my savings. I guess it’s one of those times when one’s faith is being tested.

Did I mention I landed myself a job? I haven’t replied to the email yet but before you think it’s some four figure salary kind of job, it’s just a part time job. What I have to do is write articles and for an article of about 500 words, I get paid RM 5. That's about a cent per word. So, RM 745 left to go if, and when, I finished my first article.

Hmm... Do I sound distressed? Honestly, I’m fine here. And it’s Friday. Time sure flies when you’ve made an appointment with the dentist. Speaking of the dentist, I was told I might have to pay a small amount [in the range of 0 – 50]. Let’s see how it went.

That’s just a fraction of what people pay in private hospitals. I think private dental clinics charge that much too. Last I heard, it costs four hundred ringgit per tooth to four grand if one chooses to stay for a few days. Ah, fortunate people.

I know the reactions of some people when they hear the word “government” or “public”. But I’ve had some pleasant experience in the past so yeah; I’ll put my money there. That is if I have to pay at all. Alright, enough of dentists and hospitals for now. This is what I watched before I typed this. So, click and watch it. Its 10 cents per view for the kids in Kenya.

Here’s Jubilee Project’s Picture This. A fundraiser with The Supply Education Group. Enjoy!

 

Life as I Know It

[I] have been rather sedentary lately. But unlike the pictures that may be popping up in your mind when I mention sedentary, I’m sitting as opposed to lying down and I’m facing my laptop instead of the television. Well, I do turn to see what’s on the TV screen every now and then.

So what have I been up to lately? For a start, I did a lot of thinking (which is quite usual) and a lot less hop-skipping on the net from blogs to blogs or from videos to videos (on Youtube). I’ve taken up, rather seriously, digital art / photo-manipulation. Serious sounded like I need to do that or I’d be out on the streets but actually, it’s more like I’m spending a lot more time on Gimp (I'm not rich enough to afford Photoshop) working on images and creating new stuff. If only I’d show such dedication when working on my thesis.

The deviantART logo by *Utao. How nice is that?

Besides noting (and sketching) down ideas for poems (and art), I’m making good progress on the fretboard of my guitar; at least that’s what I’d like to think. You see, I can’t sing and I’m not even the “bathroom singer” type. So much for music, eh? Photography and videography would be the two things I’d like to get my hands into. Too much theory on these subjects amounts to nothing if I don’t even know how to handle the equipments, yes? I think I’m going to put these on hold since what I’m currently doing costs nearly nothing. Yes, I’m broke. But I’m not brought up and taught to spend thoughtlessly either.

These days, all I make in the kitchen (that is if I am in the kitchen) is... instant noodle. See? I’m not even “making” things now. I’m “preparing”. Gone were the pizza-making days (and chapatti too), chicken schnitzels and the good ol’ oriental dishes. Man, times are hard indeed.

Jack of all trades, master of none. Familiar? It’s for self-satisfaction that I do what I do, really. After all, it’s only a matter of time when my life will be dedicated to “tilling the ground and eat my food with sweat running from my brow” (paraphrasing mine). I’d no longer have time picking up new things. As it stands now, I have yet to decide what I’m going to do with my life. *jumping in delight*

Time to look up the [part time] job ads, work on my deviation (as artistic products are called on deviantART), and have a look at my thesis. Maybe I should take some time off to visit my first love, reading.

 

Dreaming Realistically

This entry's from a total stranger. Discovered it on one of my trips when I mope around the net delving into other people's thoughts.

This one's from Something Crabby Shares

We were told since young that we should be realistic...
We were told to choose to study something realistic so that we can get a job in future...
We were told to choose a career that's realistic so that we can earn enough money...
So, we listened.
We start to be realistic.
We stop to dream big.
We told ourselves it was impossible.
We stopped pursuing what we once believe in.
We told ourselves we should stick with what's realistic.
So...guess what we turn out to be?
We turn out to be EXACTLY what we were told - REALISTIC.
We buried our big dreams deep in a corner of our heart.
We got a realistic job like what we have been told.
We end up with the so-called realistic future.
Ever wonder....
What will happen...
If we didn't listen to what others define as realistic, but continue to pursue our DREAM instead?
 

Holding On, Letting Go - Ross Copperman

Song featured in the seventh season finale of CSI:NY. There are things which we let go and others we hold on to, hence the labels applied to the post. As for me, I have made my choice. What about you?

It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't
It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed
Some prayers find an answer some prayers never know
We're holding on, and letting go

Gimme a break!

it's been erratic around here really. i'm not faithfully putting my thoughts up (or down?) that frequently compared to last time. i'm jaded. i'm disappointed with people around me though i don't put much hope in them. when it comes to work, i'm slogging for what would be another thesis tucked away in an inconspicuous corner of the shelf. how am i to go forward or go greater heights (as our politicians love to put it) if my own doesn't even care? i'm sponsored by another government for all i'm worth yet i'm prevented to go. i'm resigned to the fact that red tape is a culture like any other and that colour changes life. after all, without colour life would be dull won't they?

Salve, Panthera tigris!

We feast as the tiger chases down the ox. It was a time of getting together and having good food. I'll refrain from using the word reunion since it wasn't as if everyone returned from a hundred miles off but rather, we're in constant contact albeit intermittently.

I sure hope that the new year will mean my work becomes easier and that I work swiftly although, I have to say, I don't believe in such stuff; much less feng shui and its many self-proclaimed experts. One thing I'd wish from the tiger is that it chases down people in and around the workplace and sink its teeth into their neck. That's for being selfish!

Funny how these people operate in a society, the word itself means many people. Guess the tiger will never change its stripes?