Selamat Hari Raya, Hari Kebangsaan, and Selamatkan Saya

If firecrackers are synonymous with Chinese New Year 20 years back, that startling but familiar boom now announces the start of Hari Raya and even Deepavali (in October; chapati and briyani!). Once again, technology has [nearly] replaced the conventional telephone (you know, those land line phones) calls and greeting cards.

Ketupat (Source: stock.xchng; boy am I glad I found ketupat on a stock photos site)

So, being the progressive person that I am (ahem!), I'm one of those people sending my wishes via SMS and on Facebook. I shall not repeat myself here and I don't think I want to either.

After 54 years, I honestly wish we can do better compared to our ASEAN neighbours. Many know the laughable yardstick used by the government to gauge how "well" the economy's performing. *winks*

Sometimes it's true that "absurdity rules Malaysia" and we have a handful of leaders to thank for that. Still, I look to sporting events and those public gatherings (read BERSIH rally) to see a homogenous Malaysia. If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times: that true harmony among the people cannot be seen on TV. I'm blessed to live everyday with these bunch of fantastic people.

When mcDonald's gets too costly, there's always Ramly burger at half the price and, depending on individuals, twice the enjoyment. Fries and Coke not included.

It is them that I think of whenever some bigots threatened to shed blood or to make BBQ. I recall the always-mirthful meals at Sungai Nibong and Hammer Bay when I'm asked to eff off (excuse me) to where I came from.

"I can't possibly go back to my mother's womb, can I?"

Fact is, this ain't a bad place to live in. Although we've had tremors and felt the aftermath of the 2004 tsunami, nobody fears a drive-by shooting whilst sipping teh tarik at the mamak stall. As far as I know, nobody scoffs at me when I dined at the warung or when I ordered burgers outside 7-Eleven.

Was I being naive? A utopian idealist hoping against hope? I sure hope not.

Rendang, need I say more?

Now after wishing everyone Selamat Hari Raya and Selamat menyambut Hari Kebangsaan, I wonder who's going to selamatkan(save) me from deadlines and a big load of stuff to type. The only thing that motivates me is the Raya open house cum Mooncake Festival cum birthday celebration this Saturday. The wound in my mouth healed nicely and I can't wait to have ketupat and rendang.

Where can I get my hands on some sparklers?

 

Cheers and Tears

Preparations are underway for National Day as well as Hari Raya and Facebook is abuzz with updates by those on their way home. And non-Muslims join in the gaiety by posting wishes and tagging their Muslim friends.

On the other extreme, we learn of road deaths [and other mishaps] in the news and the newspaper.

The past few days have been wet and chilly with a brief period of sunshine. Still, I find it quite uncomfortable even if rainy days are great for slumber; its getting really moist in my room.

If anyone (me) thinks this small inconvenience is a pain, then wait till a hurricane touchdown. I'm sure most are familiar with Irene and the situation in the US East Coast (I prefer the alternate term Eastern Seaboard).

There you go, a pathetic attempt juxtapose the extremes. Imagine if we could take each person from both sides and cause them to switch places, I'm sure both would be really thankful. Since we can't do that, well, at least not putting people into a disaster-ravaged area, we can only encourage and help those who complain to see that "others had it worse".

Still, I fully understand the difference between saying something and then doing it. As long as it'll take, it's still possible. Gotta have faith, no? And a well-placed one too. That's when we know for certain that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't "a speeding train headed our way".

Let's rest on these:

What Faith Can Do - Kutless

Everybody falls sometimes

Gotta find the strength to rise

From the ashes and make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache

You think it’s more than you can take

But you're stronger, stronger than you know

Don’t you give up now

The sun will soon be shining

You gotta face the clouds

To find the silver lining
:

 

Clammy No More

Oh yeah! The sun has decided to step away from the thick clouds and warm things up here on the ground. Two of the five garlic cloves that I buried last week have also decided its time to breach topsoil. And no, I did not arrange nor wait for all these to happen so I can type something here.

Ah, I love this! (Source: stock.xchng)

I'm not in the mood to do a lot of thinking (need some time to warm up, heheh!) so I opened up Notepad and glanced through the points I would like to include in the acknowledgement section of my thesis. Renovation works in the apartment unit below ain't making the environment more conducive; au contraire, mon ami.

Then I came to the following paragraph at the bottom of the document which was sent to me almost two years ago. Each time I read it, I'm impressed by that simple, yet profound (?), reason why people keep doing things that had been done in the past. A very good reminder [from "Sophie"] when faced with doubts and apprehension.

The same holds good for research. There are thousands of scientists who burn the midnight's oil till the day they die and people may never know them or wonder if he has even contributed to society. But when the next person picks up from where he has left, he is providing a platform on which you can continue, and maybe, the next person, is able to achieve or make some remarkable contribution to mankind. A genius at work, he may be, but if nobody researched or published papers in journals, there would be no referrals. So I think success in a society largely depends on this. I know many may disagree.

____________
 

Setting Windows Media Player to shuffle the playlist, the scribe thoroughly enjoyed (surprisingly) Green Day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams besides the usual flavours like Firehouse's Love of a Lifetime or Martika's Toy Soldier. He attributed that to the mind's need for something stimulating. He also strives to cut down on the excessive use of contractions – that'd easily confuse – unless necessary.

 

Remembering Amanda

No, I don't have anyone named Amanda who has passed away. But I think I dreamt of Amanda because of the song by Boston.

Nice to listen to whilst working. It's another day of facing the computer and hammering away on the keyboard, all the while sneezing. It must be the rain; when I went out for a haircut (still getting used to the dude staring back at me in the mirror) this afternoon. For most part of the day, it's blustery, dark, and cloudy.

I'll turn in very soon. Achoo! Oh no, the mucus says hi!

 

Happy Birthday, Blog!

Four years ago on this day, I made my first post here. In the days that follow, I’ve fiddled with the layout and picking up HTML in the process (it’s CSS now! Gosh!). It certainly wasn’t the one-stop destination for web surfers and it still isn’t; at least not for the majority of people out there.

I don’t usually keep track of August 23 until a week ago when I posted the video about Nick. Anyway, this is one place I escape to ever so frequently and speak my mind. Besides, where else I could put up my poems for the world some people to see if not here in my little dominion – one that’s demarcated by nothing more than a URL.

Source: alicja_sto on stock.xchng

Wicks & Waxes

Someone once asked why the site is called such and that we’re not able to count “wax”. Since I didn’t provide any explanation before, I might as well do it here. I meant for wicks to be all the posts I made, each a manifestation of my thoughts (wax) for everyone to comprehend (light). Still, though debatable, we couldn’t count wax. That’s simply the transitive verb, wax.

And then it wanes

Now, if anyone doesn’t know, it’s the opposite of wax. I wasn’t that diligent back then and there’s a time when I got too lazy to post anything here. I realized when I subject myself to some sort of routine, it takes the fun away. Still, it’s been awhile since I waxed poetic about life.

Durability of an oak

Now, it takes some discipline to faithfully do something even if that something’s an enjoyable thing to do. On some days, I do force myself to type a few words and somehow the ideas will flow then off I go until the last full stop (or period). But the one thing that kept me going then, and the same that encourages me now, is the visitors here. Knowing they read and even better, leaving their thoughts thereafter.

Quercus coccinea - Steve Baskauf

That brings me on a very significant part of this blogging journey...

It’s the best of feelings when I get told people can relate to that which I wrote (especially the poems). I don’t need each post, pictures, music, and videos to mean something to people but as long as they find one or two that’s meaningful, it felt nice. Felt.

In the last month of ’08 and early ’09, there was a back and forth correspondence with one “Sophie”. Now, Sophie was someone who appreciates what I wrote and it was nice exchanging emails over two months. Alas, some encounters do end and end it did. The last email I got was two days after my birthday. As much as I'd like to know why, I don't think I'm going to ever find out.

Oh well, I hope Sophie’s doing well right now.

Shout outs to people who visits frequently and faithfully read over the years and “Sophie” deserves a special mention: thank you. God bless you all!

 

O'Donnell Abu: The Prelude to Alma Mater's Call

So, I learned today – from the group discussion on Facebook – that my school rally (the same one shared by all La Sallian educational institutions albeit with some variation in wordings) takes the tune from O'Donnell Abu. More about the song here.

First published c. 1843 as "The Clanconnell War Song." "Red Hugh" O'Donnell's hatred of England was based on a personal experience; as a teenager, the English had gotten him drunk and taken him prisoner. He escaped a few years later (1591), but the unfair imprisonment affected his opinions for the rest of his life. The "O'Neill" of the song is Hugh, third Baron of Dungannon and second Earl of Tyrone, one of the greatest Anglo-Irish barons of the time (1551-1616).

He became O'Neill in 1593 when his brother Turlough resigned him the position. Prior to that, he had held the barony of Dungannon from 1569 and the Tyrone earldom from 1587. He cooperated with the English more than this song might imply, but the threat to his position (Tudor bureaucracy looked likely to overcome the ancient clan loyalties) eventually pushed him toward rebellion. If the rebellion could be said to have a commander (a debatable point), he was it.

Source: Folklorist

It sure is lively then, and it certainly is now. Ah, Irish roots and then some! Let's see what else pops up 7 years after I left school. Seven already? Never a week passes without, at worst, a fleeting thought about the place. It's different walking in now than when I was still in my school uniform. Suddenly, being under the rules are way nicer than feeling like a wandering spirit. I've said it once and probably a hundred times more before, whether I'm in it now or out of it, I owe this place everything.

 

Chewing the Cud, Choking on Grass

Weekends never tarry. They come slowly and leave quickly every time. Just when I needed more time, a new day announces itself in the form of the time and date on the system tray. It was a balmy Sunday and there I was, hunched over the LCD reading – from bootstrap analysis to enteropathogenic E. coli. Those journal articles and web pages took about 5 hours to complete.

Now, I wouldn’t remember a single thing, much less understand what I was reading, if I didn’t punctuate those 1 – 6 pm period with some less demanding materials. I trawled the net looking for graduate schools offering doctoral degrees in varsities all over the world, stopping at Singapore, Ghent, Seattle, Oregon and somehow I got caught up in the breathtaking view of Montana.

Alas, that tiny but mounting desire to pursue a doctorate was snuffed out. To digress, my decision to jump into postgraduate studies in 2008 was because I felt inadequate as a graduate. It’s a deception for anyone to think that after three years, one is qualified and competent; not me and definitely not here in Malaysia. It’s purely for knowledge and to better train myself; which is why I wasn’t in a rush to complete everything in under a year.

Now when I’m ready to take my life as a student / researcher to the next level, I’m faced with the prospect of having to give it all up and settle for a job somewhere in the country. All I could hope for is that my government establishes (and broadens bilateral) ties with more countries as far as education is concerned.

That light at the end of the road (?). One evening on the North-South Expressway

From Sweden to Switzerland, scholarships are offered to students from a rather long list of developing countries and when you thought your country is there somewhere (owing to a number of high profile pacts with MIT, Johns Hopkins, and scholarships to Harvard), you’re stupefied to not see your country in it but your neighbours are there.

Maybe my government is committed only to world class (assuming the rest aren’t) education in renowned institutions and I’m better off applying here at home. Then it hits me: the selection process is shady and reeks of biasness.

Some would say to me, if I’m so good why don’t I seek out scholarships from my institution of choice? To which I answer, even if I know I’m damn good, how am I going to raise that sum of money for the flight ticket and the fees for the first term so I can get registered to be eligible? Still, many will come with many propositions without knowing the state I’m in. Also, I'm not one that will just settle for the next convenient pasture and do something I'm totally not interested in.

I’m in good spirit, still. One more channel to pursue: USM’s Academic Staff Training Scheme. Upon completion of studies, there’s a 7-year bond to the varsity. Ready for another bad news? The selection process is like what I mentioned before and I know who will be in the panel. Ah, life on Earth sure is colourful! Let’s hope when (if that happens) I get selected, I’d be able to charm them with whatever appeal that’s left in me – nothing much to begin with.

So, those research and sulking took all afternoon and come dinnertime, I was swallowing the spaghetti, mushroom and mussels. After that, it’s another few hours of protein folding, oxidative damage, and metering in photography.

Just before calling it a [backbreaking, shoulder-hurting, and heart-hairline-craking] day, I said “hey” to a friend on MSN only to get a cold response. Well, problems of the heart ain’t easy for some so I smiled, gave her my best, and said good night.

My obsession with the sun (sigh): One morning whilst cruising along Gurney Drive.

 So, here I am. I’m supposed to post something about the ocean, underwater trenches and a sinusoidal graph here but I think I’m no longer in the mood for that. Time to dream of shopping at the Portland Farmers Market and wander the streets of Bruges.