The First Snow-- flake

I've never experienced snow in my life, ever. When we're little, sis and I used to sit around mum agape with wonder at her stories. Snowman and Santa in Christmas off the greeting cards and TV adverts.

In November of '93, having saved enough money, we flew to Australia and I remember asking if it'll be snowing. No, it's springtime now. Drat! Still, it was really cold and being kids, we're super excited turning into make-believe dragons spewing "fake smoke" from our mouth and nostrils.

Back in the perpetually sweltering Malaysia, the "ais kacang" was (and still is) a great relief. Being short, I remember staring as the ice shavings fell from the blade and imagining seeing that snowfall.

A big yes to sweet corn, grass jelly (black), red beans, rose (and sarsaparilla)-flavoured syrup, and a drizzle of evaporated milk. No [translucent] attap seeds please.

Reading about the first snowfall and winter in the northern hemisphere seems to transport me back to that time when snow and the igloo utterly fascinates me. Slowly, I'm inching towards that moment when I expel "fake smoke" again.

A scoop of ice cream at the top! That's how I'd like to have my ais kacang. Tried one with mango puree and gula melaka syrup once. The possibilities are endless. Just don't overdo it.

For now, it's temporary satisfaction afforded by that RM4-ish bowl of ais kacang (depending on the toppings). Funny how when people grow up, that childhood desire seems to get shaved away. Perspective changes too mind you. Standing next to the motorized ice shaver now, I'm looking at that spinning block of ice and blotches of rust on the iron frame. 

Ah, grownups see all sorts of things.
   

A Rude Awakening

5:20 AM... Is what I saw when I reached for my phone.

5:22 AM... Is the time I lost that "sleep is the best thing to do in the world right now" feeling and lay in the dark wondering if owls have infrared vision.

There's so many weddings going on and with dates like November 11 and December 12 (next year) looming, it's good business for those planners. One wonders what the number's like in two or five years; that is, number of married couples still hitched.

Why marry

• and call it quits?
• and fight (verbally and physically)?
• and have kids only to dump them at their grandparent's?

I have better things to dwell upon but sometimes these questions get triggered. And no one does a better job than the folks in the unit a few floors down. They fight like bitter enemies most of the time and when they don't, they share their conversations with everyone else. All that at inconvenient hours (as if there's a convenient hour for those things).

Hang in there, kid

And in the middle is this tot who, in my opinion, expresses his feeling by crying. Lately, screaming has been incorporated into the crying and I have to put up with that scryeaming (lame, I know) at different times of the day.

I really pity that guy but it's getting on my nerve especially at times like this. To play the blame game, it's always the caregivers' fault: parents who think only of themselves and grandparents who can't be bothered by a crying child. Now isn't the time (and I'm not in the right frame of mind) to approach the issue of marriage "in the heat of the moment".

With four hours of extra time on a public holiday, I wonder what I'm going to do.

   

End-of-Life: A Commentary to Y2K 11-10

Some are familiar with EOL and some don't. EOL means two things to me: Windows XP in April 2014 and life. Since the former is predictable, no, it's confirmed, all I have to do is make preparations for it; details of which are yet unknown.

Life is more unpredictable. I might not even get the chance to hit the "Publish" button on this post, unlikely but possible. Now, life and some decisions to be made form the theme of Y2K 11-10. Back in '99, in the run up towards midnight of December 31, there's a piece about the Y2K bug at least once a week. Some predicted a total chaos whilst others scrambled to upgrade their system.

I remember waking up the next day hoping to hear the siren, smoke, and gunshot. Sadly, it's just another day in life and the school opens for a new term in a few days' time. No anarchy to save us school-going kids.

Nearly 11 years after that, with a better grasp of what life is, I wrote about the unpredictable nature of life one stanza a day in the month of October. Amid the unrest in New York and the world over, I was deep in thought about what to do next.

One moment, I could picture how nice things would turn out for options A through C and disillusionment in the next. Then the EOL of XP hit me: there are things I never prepare enough for. So yeah, there's an expiration date on each of us and some has a price on their head on top of the expiry date.

And?

Got to keep moving; fueled by aspiration, guided in the right direction by wise counsel, and protected by any moral roughage I can gather. Gung-ho eh? Well, everybody's got to start somewhere.

The last stanza was an afterthought, really. To end it properly with a change in season: summer through to winter, the Bealtane of an earlier writing to the approaching Halloween. And lived with with doggedness of Ernest Shackleton.

I rarely explain what I wrote. In fact, this is the second time that the meaning behind a piece is elucidated. Another time was because the intended reader didn't really get it. Oh well, people who write in meandering ways are boring.

   

Y2K 11-10

The Sturm und Drang of Occupied October
Should cause casual commoners like me to quiver
A nascent ripple waxing by the day
Swinging out in every cardinal point and Rome burns today

Oddly, there prevails a state of uncanny equanimity
Permeating the noetic sphere called the mental faculty
From the placidity burst forth the brilliant flashes
It becomes hard to secern excitement from madness

Day 3 if cogitation and getting nowhere
There’s got to be an answer somewhere, but where?
I’m stuck between that man-wrought cave of utter despair
and that doggone whirlpool of delusion and certain snare

The sum of 2 and 2
Summed up the world rotten through and through
I’m not without aspiration nor expiration
And can only hope to emerge unscathed from adulteration

One bittersweet summer repleted by burnt butterscotch
Dwindled away to the cold, carved pumpkins at the porch
The frost of Shackleton’s time will soon gnaw
at our extremities whilst we await the first snowfall.
  

BBW

I really wonder what went through some of your minds when you read the three-lettered title. Anyway, it's one of those days when I wish I had more money and not stuck here saying to myself, "How nice if..." over and over again.

The Big Bad Wolf Book Sale is happening right now... In the Klang Valley. I would have bought a [bus / train / flight too costly for me even if it's a year ago] ticket but hey, let's hope it'll be held up north in the near future. *hopeful*

Retailing at RM 25. That's 84% off the normal price. I don't think I'm gonna find coffee spills or missing pages in it.

Someone agreed to look up Archaeologica and Disappearing World for me. As much as I'm overjoyed by that, I couldn't help but think that it'll be great to be there in person. That way, the two-title limit will not take effect.

Looking at the "teaser" on the main site, prices are lower compared to the ones aboard Logos Hope weeks ago.

*sits and ponder, ruefully*
  

Funny Day

A day of "nothing much was done as far as work is concerned". I spent a good part of my afternoon at MPH browsing the titles at the "Hobbies – Photography" section as well as the "Fiction" area.

As I made my way to the cashier, I walked past this mother and son pair. The guy, I reckoned to be a school-leaver, was describing something from the magazine on his lap to his mother. I'm not sure if mum understood everything (it seemed rather technical) but boy was she attentive. You know what I'm getting at but I'll leave it at that.

Forgive the odd angle. Wasn't trying to creative but more to being discreet.

The rest of the day was spent on the net reading about Raijin Thunderkeg, Genesis 

(the band); watching videos on YouTube (yes, again!); and catching up on things with Wilber. I'm eagerly anticipating the next stable release (2.8) of GIMP.

Meet my friend, Wilber.

And I chanced upon this entrancing piece of music: Funny Day by Kinder ft. Paps 'n' Skar. I'm not the party guy; never was and never will but I think this would make for a great song. 

Whatever it is, it's been looping in Windows Media Player. Give it a try! Who needs mood-altering drugs when there are songs like Funny Day?.

If anyone's wondering what's so funny about today, it wasn't. The title's from that eponymous dance music. Ha! Now, play that again.

 

More Than Just Breakfast

"Bagel, brioche, or nasi lemak for breakfast tomorrow?"
"I'll have one each day. Then top off breakfast with a glass of carrot juice."

Simple right?

Sometimes, the options are laid before us and we only have to make an informed choice. You see, I'm terrified of the unknown as much as I'm excited about it. It's not that I'm about to end my life, visit the next, decide that I hated it, and the hit the undo button only to know that it's broken.

Still, some decisions are permanent in that we don't get the chance to revisit them ever again. A few are pivotal. Whilst it's true that we live with them, and being the resilient creature, adapt to survive, being certain about the choice we make could save us some sighs and heartbreak.

Am I biding my time for far too long? Can being careful simply be seen as cowardice or are both mutual, inextricable traits? I haven't an answer; not even for myself.
  

Bloody Bullies

When Bullying Backfires: Asperger’s Student Voted Homecoming Princess

Ah, the kind of headline that almost always puts a smile on my face. There are a few definitions of bullying that I know of, but apart from the occasional teasing / name-callings, I wasn’t subjected to a daily torture – physical or otherwise.

We all grow up and become friends. Suddenly, we laughed about our parents’ names. Come to think of it, it was childish to 1) seek pleasure in calling a classmate by his father’s name and 2) react angrily when someone greeted our pops.

One of my favourite PSAs by JP

After growing some pubes and learning to respect the other person, we soon channel that effort into lively discussions with our teachers: tantalum digging, girls, etc. I guess I was lucky that I never encountered a violent bully trying to experiment inelastic collision with my head and the wall.

We've heard of worst cases both at home and abroad. I can never forget Phoebe Prince whenever the subject of bullying comes up.

Maybe I should be thankful that the strict discipline in school. Yes, I’ve been on the receiving end of the rod. Once when all 38 of us got caned for going too far on the decibel scale. Heheh!

But I’m not indifferent to bullying. I was 9, and still learning to make subjects and verbs agree. My cousin’s already in Australia with his parents.

“...great news here in Australia. I might be skipping a grade.” is one of the many things he wrote about in a Christmas card. He also described the weather in Adelaide and how much he’s learned in school. Ain’t that obvious, cousin? Even Singapore’s way ahead.

He didn’t tell me about the treatment he got whilst at school. Mum related the incident to me and somehow, [on hindsight] those bathroom scenes from Hollywood are so real. Anyway, they’ve already returned long ago after Uncle Vic finished his studies.

They all have fond memories of their time down under but I was particularly sore about the bullying and some bigoted twats calling out to them whilst walking home, “Boat people, go home!”

Halfway through the post, I stopped and searched myself against the actions that constitute bullying. Lucky I'm not one. Never was too. *winks*

Now for some in-game retribution. Mortal Kombat... Bloody, no?

     

Wee Hour Screening

When you wish upon a star 

Makes no difference who you are 

Anything your heart desires 

Will come to you

I'm sure many are familiar with that.

Got out of bed, took a wee and headed to the kitchen for a sip of water. At four in the morning, there's nothing going on out there but I peered out the window anyway. Quiet. Dead. I looked up and the heavens' full of life.

Wow! Beautiful, beautiful sky. As cliched as the phrase "star-studded night sky" gets, it's different every time I look up. Ah, that nice feeling (understated) which smothers.

Sorry for being stutteringly fragmented; whatever that meant. I think I'd better go back to sleep. After all, such splendour are sure to greet me again the next time I gaze upwards.

Beautiful scene. Wonderful feelings. Amazing what a bunch of stars and a wisp of cloud set against a dark sky could evoke in me; or people for that matter. Never get enough of it and don't think I ever will.

And yes... Hello October, ye good fellow. Welcome aboard and let's have a jolly good time, ya?