The oft-repeated phrase "you need friends, they're important" came up around me recently. After some deliberation, I come to a conclusory resolve that I don't need anymore than I already have right now. I'd like to keep it at a manageable number so that none would be left out. I'd remember their birthdays and remembered to text them or call them up every now and then; a sign of a good friend eh? The rest? They're merely colleagues, coursemates, and lab mates whom, upon meeting them, I greeted with much respect. Like how I'd like others to treat me, I'd do what I want others to do unto me.
Many times, I've experienced that a large group of people in one place laughing over food doesn't equals to a lasting bond. It was pointed out by one friend, Jiwan, to me on our way home. "Empty", he said. "What's after that? Are they available when truly needed?" he added. I concurred; quality being my preference over quantity. I have one classmate pointing out to me just how many friends she has. Wow! I thought to myself. I'm no longer that naive person now. I've met with countless scenarios showing just how fake and superficial the ones called friends are. They're people who'd lie to us between their teeth without batting the eyelids. They're people who JUDGE you. People who CONDEMN you in the most delicate manner but it's condemning all the same. People who'd come to you when in need; and being the nice person we'd never put them down. They're people who'd come to you proposing a meal but you know why they aren't doing it then but only doing it now - motives.
This isn't just a random ranting out of sheer boredom. We don't just meet over coffee alfresco for the sake of meeting up. We don't just hang out just for the sake of filling up the monthly quota of did-I-bond-with-my-friends? Bonding doesn't just come from there. It's not something we'd achieve in 6 months or so. What's after that? Graduation and the trail grows cold. Good friends now became Hi-Bye friends later. These are mockery and an insult to the word friend and friendship. It's so overrated nowadays. The phrase "I have a friend" seems to be an overstatement without true understanding or the reliving thereof.
Having a large quantity of friends doesn't guarantee happiness or fulfillment. Rather, I see most people who 1) say I needed more friends and 2) has lots of friends; lonely people desperate to find that true friend. To live and experience that bond between two person.
Next, the signs of a superficial friend is one who thinks that he/she doesn't want to "disturb" a couple. In other words, when he/she is romantically attached the next time, be sure that this person would just shut others out of his/her relationship. So much for being a friend eh? I have a friend who doesn't mind that but she does show some signs of "I-don't-want-to-be-a-lamp-post" every now and then. Well, I call her cockroach (out of affection that is; and I know she's reading this).
Many times, I've experienced that a large group of people in one place laughing over food doesn't equals to a lasting bond. It was pointed out by one friend, Jiwan, to me on our way home. "Empty", he said. "What's after that? Are they available when truly needed?" he added. I concurred; quality being my preference over quantity. I have one classmate pointing out to me just how many friends she has. Wow! I thought to myself. I'm no longer that naive person now. I've met with countless scenarios showing just how fake and superficial the ones called friends are. They're people who'd lie to us between their teeth without batting the eyelids. They're people who JUDGE you. People who CONDEMN you in the most delicate manner but it's condemning all the same. People who'd come to you when in need; and being the nice person we'd never put them down. They're people who'd come to you proposing a meal but you know why they aren't doing it then but only doing it now - motives.
This isn't just a random ranting out of sheer boredom. We don't just meet over coffee alfresco for the sake of meeting up. We don't just hang out just for the sake of filling up the monthly quota of did-I-bond-with-my-friends? Bonding doesn't just come from there. It's not something we'd achieve in 6 months or so. What's after that? Graduation and the trail grows cold. Good friends now became Hi-Bye friends later. These are mockery and an insult to the word friend and friendship. It's so overrated nowadays. The phrase "I have a friend" seems to be an overstatement without true understanding or the reliving thereof.
Having a large quantity of friends doesn't guarantee happiness or fulfillment. Rather, I see most people who 1) say I needed more friends and 2) has lots of friends; lonely people desperate to find that true friend. To live and experience that bond between two person.
Next, the signs of a superficial friend is one who thinks that he/she doesn't want to "disturb" a couple. In other words, when he/she is romantically attached the next time, be sure that this person would just shut others out of his/her relationship. So much for being a friend eh? I have a friend who doesn't mind that but she does show some signs of "I-don't-want-to-be-a-lamp-post" every now and then. Well, I call her cockroach (out of affection that is; and I know she's reading this).
wah..perli me here...teruknya.....
ReplyDeletei dont want be anyone lamp post. serioussss..hard to be lamp post le.u dun understand lamp post feeling la..yo, say i am superficial pula..
heartbroken T_T
p/s: now i know why u ask me the question..friends no count in quantity but quality :)
who is the quality one? of coz.......you-know-i-know hehe