Tick Tock Goes the Clock

It's the year end and I suppose I deserve a break from work and the vanity of power struggles in the human world. And no, I'm not a Twilight fan; just played an accompanying chevalier (also Chevalier) to a major Edward Cullen fan. Seriously, that guy is kinda pale (guess that's what he should look like) and melancholic.

Enter Alice Cullen (Ashley Greene). When I saw her in school, things doesn't seem laid back or slow anymore. Boy, am I glad to see her again when she returned to Forks. I guess I'm eagerly waiting for June next year. Before that, Salt, Avatar, Lightning Thief, The Last Airbender...

Picture credit: twigirl4ever@glogster

And yeah, I love her hair.

I think it's always alright to escape and be captivated by what we see in the world-that-will-never-be; if that's what it takes to keep sane.

Tatakae, Julian!

Climate Summit: Make it Count

11 days to go before all the attention shifts to Copenhagen for the climate summit but I sure hope that all these preparations, demonstrations, hype do make a change for the foreseeable future. The one impediment remains, though: "small" and "developing" countries say that they need more time to adopt any stance on the betterment of the environment whilst the "big" and industrialized ones refused to take a clear stand; always steer clear of the one subject - reduce carbon emission.

After All These Years

Looking back in retrospect, we see the things we'd love to relive, the wrongs we'd have corrected or not commit, the hurts we'd love to brush aside and pretend they never did occur. Also, reflecting on the things we've [or haven't] been doing everyday will either make us proud or be ashamed. After all these years, I'm glad I feel these vibes for I am what I am; weathered by circumstances.

This and many other songs have good compositions making my past time all the more enjoyable. People may think I'm a weirdo for doing all the behold-this-is-my-past thing but different people look for an escape differently, no? Speaking of composition, it's been some time since I last lay, sprawled on the floor and scribble away on the back of a used envelope or a flyer and once done, post it here with a yellow-orange font.

And now I ask myself, after all these years, (1) what is the one thing I'm proud of doing? (2) what is the single most regretful thing I've done / not done? (3) would I make any changes / a difference given the chance to go back?

Have fun with Journey's After All These Years.

Pyramids, Mansions, and the Bird's Nest Stadium: The Impressional Excursion (2)

On my shortcomings, facilities and technology, I think it's wrong for one to say that the kind of work I produce is incomparable to those who used some stuff with some grand designs (see the post before this). Well, perhaps it's incomparable to that but that's where it ends. Seeing the field as a whole and seeing how people could produce good work sans the tongue-twisting technology, it's definitely possible to do that too. Problem? I lack strong basic foundation and creativity. Back to school, folks!

The Japanese word muzukashii means difficult. I stand corrected but I understand that it also means that something cannot be done (ability). What do I see myself? Muzukashii-difficult-in-doing-something as well as muzukashii-inability. I've got to buck up.

And lastly, the missing link called networking. Guess what? I was offered 1 Renminbi, a peculiar gift token but I appreciate it nonetheless. It doesn't bother me so much that I wish to throw myself in the path of an oncoming train but I appreciate the little conversations I had with a few people. What I like about the type of conversations I had? The one which migrated from Science to something more human. Warm.

I'm trying not to be politically incorrect here and so, the statement which follows are assumptions and generalizations based on a very small pool of statistically insignificant sample size but it is possible to correlate it with achievement and human nature. Make sense? No? Never mind that then. The Japanese are somewhat proud and unapproachable. The Americans? No luck in eliciting so much as a pathetic hello. The Chinese seems to be full of smiles and excitement. Now, before you jump to conclusions based on the relationship that pride and coldness is directly proportional to achievements, let me say that the Chinese did produce some commendable work and the word TANGIBLE below (para. 4, line 4) comes from their slides.

As for me, it's back to work and recapitulation of what I've done thus far. I'd never stop reflecting on myself because I believe that progress comes when one realizes he or she isn't moving, and realizing that honesty and critical evaluation of things past should be the way to go.

Pyramids, Mansions, and the Bird's Nest Stadium: The Impressional Excursion (1)

I'm not going to talk about architecture although I wish to note that there are pyramids in Bosnia; the first to be discovered in Europe. Read up if you haven't already knew. The International Scientific Conference about the Bosnian Valley of the Pyramids takes the acronym ICBP, the first being ICBP 2008.

Am just back from my very first conference (also an ICBP of sorts) and I must say that the amount of stuff I took in was enormous. That, among others, included food. A lot is in my mind right now and I have no idea how I'm going to let it flow nicely. Perhaps I should preserve that disorder in my mind here.

To begin with, I'd say that observing people when they interact with another of their kind is fun as it is interesting. I mean, these folks are distinguished people, authorities of their respective field of research. They smoke. They drink. They show emotions - agitated, annoyed, displeased, happy, surprise, and the expression goes on. In short, they're very much what I am - human. What differentiates people in the conference, between eminent and inconspicuous, would be 1) thinking 2) attitude 3) the right network and to a lesser but oftentimes seen 4) power plays.

I have 1, 2, missing 3 and definitely not 4 and I must remind myself never to have the last attribute. What I have is not at its fullest potential and what I lack may not necessarily stamp my downfall. It's encouraging to listen to the lectures and see for myself, tangible proof that something does work if enough creativity and effort is put into it. The conference itself is enriching as it is intimidating and if I may add, discouraging. I shall elaborate on the discouraging part shortly.

It's enriching because one listened from one source and then that was built upon by another. I took home a lot of hitherto unheard of things and certainly a lot of reading assignments for myself. It's intimidating due to the kind of work people produce, sheer creativity and ingenious use of technology.

When I say discouraged, many would jump to the conclusion that I've lost my motivation and that I dwell too much on the incomparables: low tech versus high tech. What I'm actually saying (hello, world!) is that I'm lamenting my shortcomings and the lack of useful facilities around me. I'm not saying it's the end of the world. And I've definitely not lost my direction and my aim or everything I've set out to do. Neither am I disillusioned.

You see, others may be kind enough and politely say that my work is interesting (this is an understatement, to say the least) but I don't afford myself dulcet tones of positive appraisals to the extend of being deceived by the seemingly good things. Rather, I subject myself to tough self-scrutiny lest I should rest on my laurels as they say.

I'm not being uptight but I know who I am. I want to better myself if I know I've yet to reach my limit. I have much to do and more to offer and currently, I'm just not good enough at the moment. I'm sometimes the green-eyed monster (no, it's not alright to be one) but I'm not one who slogged to achieve something blindly, or God forbid, gain something at the expense of someone else.

On resting on laurels [beds of roses or whatnot], I spoke to someone about his work and he was oh-so-excited about the results he's gotten so far that what comes out from the mouth after that borders on arrogance and selfishness. I'd just afford a wry smile.

Indigestion is quite fun

Attended a pre-conference workshop today from morning till evening and fed every 2 hours or so. Like the previous workshop where Prof John F. Leslie was invited, this one isn't going to be ordinary. We're honoured to have Prof Alexander Steinbüchel, Drs. Hideki Abe and Tadahisa Iwata. Man, big people, both status and stature, the latter especially true for Prof Steinbüchel.

Our guest from Westfälische Wilhelms-University, Münster, start off with the theme of the workshop and the conference: Bio-based polymers. Off he went about polymers. Fermenters. So far so good. Then came cyanophycin, KDPG aldolase-addiction system, and biorefineries.

Our Japanese speakers then dished out copoly(ester-amide)s, end-capped poly(L-lactide), and X-ray diffraction using their synchrotron, the SPring-8.

Wham! There I was, digesting bit by bit and making sense of every piece of information; not that their heavily-accented English helped. At the end of it, I have to give it to these men. Bright people living at the edge; the cutting edge technology. Imagine what the guys and gals in their laboratory could do. And here we have people showing off how good their research is.

I left that place enriched. Knowing that if I put my brain to good use (am doing that daily), nothing is impossible. New doors could always be open; could being the operative word here. If polyhydroxyalkanoates are but drops of water in the ocean, then chemosynthesis of new polymers would certainly paint a different picture for the environment.

Leaving that place also meant that I learned something: that is to be confident of what I'm pursuing. Start low but don't waste time. And make sure it's good science. I will remember to laugh at he or she who mocks the work of "lesser" beings, since if we're in this together how good can one be compared to the others. One thing is, I still can't see the rationale for all the competition happening right now in all possible directions.

Oh why, my fellow [still-a-lot-of-catching-up-to-do] researchers? Why?

Ah, knowledge is fulfilling and it gives me a good feeling.

National Principles, always?

WHEREAS OUR COUNTRY MALAYSIA nurtures the ambitions of:

• achieving a more perfect unity amongst the whole of her society;
• preserving a democratic way of life;
• creating a just society where the prosperity of the country can be enjoyed together in a fair and equitable manner;
• guaranteeing a liberal approach towards her rich and varied cultural traditions; and
• building a progressive society that will make use of science and modern technology.

NOW THEREFORE WE, the people of Malaysia, pledge to concentrate the whole of our energy and efforts to achieve these ambitions based on the following principles:

• BELIEF IN GOD
• LOYALTY TO KING AND COUNTRY
• THE SUPREMACY OF THE CONSTITUTION
• THE RULE OF LAW
• COURTESY AND MORALITY

I still remember the time when we're made to memorize the five principles above in school and even in scouting. The May 13 riot in '69 changed many things and these principle serve to preserve and promote unity among the people. Of course, most know that what we read in the textbook isn't entirely true based on official documents.

Today, whilst we still hold on to these principles and occasionally flash them in the television during National Day, funny we still see how some still trample on them and make a mockery out of the whole thing. But hey, these ideals and the visions of the founding fathers are reflected upon and often harped on during elections. It's the same all over the world right?

And I'm going to see the chiropractor in a day or two when the pile of stuff is gone. Killing me, both work and the pain.