I didn't choose this life, it chose me

Today’s headline on Benazir Bhutto’s assassination came as a big shock to me outside the petrol station. I stood there staring at the screaming papers; couldn't believe what I’ve just read.

Not that I’m a political science scholar but then I do keep up with the current affairs of the world at large – political issues especially. Being a lady and all, taking on political leaders for her country really gained my admiration.

Never have I come across someone like her (maybe I have: in rhetorical speeches by our local politicians) who addresses her supporters and the people with such spirit, courage, and passion. In a country consisting of people having different ideologies running the gamut from secular to moderate to religious fundamentalism – and recent unrests involving the latter – Bhutto spoke without fear against extremism and meddling of Pakistani affairs by foreign powers.

Like all who have said it, let not democracy be killed. Even now, conspiracy theories abound but digressions aside, I could only heave a sigh each time I thought of her and her not being around anymore. Shalom.

Of exams and expectations

Sipping the freshly prepared soybean milk and sitting on the couch after a scrumptious dinner felt so good. And better still, the 8pm news has just begun...

I was, instead, served with a tragic event that made me lose interest in mum’s soybean. A UPSR candidate has committed suicide after failing one of her Bahasa papers. Only a day earlier, I stumbled upon a picture of a few girls so elated with their strings of alpha. Happy. Jubilant. Fists raised high. Countenance frozen in time, all screaming out: WE DID IT. So what?

It’s just another public exam where they test you on how good your memories are and how you’d be able to put those words in line correctly although they know exactly what you’re trying to convey. I got a C for writing and go on to (always, I may add) obtain above 75 during my secondary years.

The deceased’s parents looked like very nice folks; just like mine, where they tell you to study hard but hey, no problem if you didn’t do that well. After all, we’re not waiting for you to put food on the table.

During my days in the 90s, I begin to see most of my peers going for tuition classes and today, it’s an absolute necessity; or so it appears. Parents aside, students are putting tremendous amount of pressure on themselves to score high since failing isn’t an option. It’s scary to think that these fellows don’t understand their own ability and hence the impossible targets that they started to push themselves a tad too much over the edge.

It’s just Bahasa Malaysia. Never mind if you didn’t pass. All schools are regulated by the Education Ministry, boys and girls. Don’t be fooled into thinking that if you enter into a better school (so to speak) then you’ll be a great achiever in the near future. Put a lazy teacher into the best school and see what happens. Yes, students will then go to tuition centres. Bah!

Test scores (and results) are not the only yardstick to do determine such standards. A school, I believe, will be the best school if it: teach students how to value themselves, instill morality in them, is a safe place to learn and grow, and produces respectful students. Not the school with the most computers, biggest libraries, a legacy of record-breaking Alpha achievers.

I’m not a sour grape and though I’m not an Alpha Leaguer, I think I produce better quality works than my peers here in varsity. It doesn’t matter what you get. It doesn’t matter how bad you results are. It absolutely doesn’t matter what your peers think; as long as you’re able to understand that each person have his or her strength and limitations and strive to be a useful person.

Oh, it doesn’t matter if major exams are abolished or not since students now are trained to learn by rote and not trained to think. Whether there be exams or not, unless the education system changes, we’ll still get the same products. Follow this LINK if you have the time.

My heart goes out to the family of Subashini Sivakumar.

Around The Corner

Got an e-mail a few days ago (thanks Vanessa) with a poem attached to it. Ran a quick search on the net and found that it was composed by Charles Hanson Towne (1877-1949). No reviews whatsoever; read and feel how much it applies today.

Around the corner I have a friend
In this great city that has no end
Yet the days go by and weeks rush on
And before I know it, a year is gone

And I never see my old friend's face
For life is a swift and terrible race
He knows I like him just as well
As in the days when I rang his bell
And he rang mine, but we were younger then
And now we are busy, tired men
Tired of playing a foolish game
Tired of trying to make a name

"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on Jim
Just to show that I'm thinking of him."
But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes
And distance between us grows and grows

Around the corner, yet miles away
"Here's a telegram sir," "Jim died today."
And that's what we get and deserve in the end
Around the corner, a vanished friend

Blog Action Day

What would happen if every blog published posts discussing the same issue, on the same day? One issue. One day. Thousands of voices.

Blog Action Day on October 15th

Visit http://blogactionday.org/

Together, let's make a difference to the environment

Oasis of Reminiscence

‘Twas the night ‘neath the palms
There I sat hunched, relaxed arms
Oblivious to the souls whooshing by
Everything a daze till its time to say goodbye

A night at the boulevard
For two souls who lived apart
A checkpoint before a journey’s start
Journey set out intended to last

The prologue penned, pages to be filled
Not knowing what impends, waiting to be thrilled
Fate took them discovering far and wide
Thru every peak and trough of life

Tugging and prodding in the jungle
Bickering and squabbling in the desert
Preoccupied, on inconspicuous lianas they stumble
Blinded, mirages drove them berserk

Often an oasis provide respite
A waypoint to recollect; to remedy a must
To nurse – spirit set alight
Renewed vision, fortified trust

Sharing the zenith and nadir of each other’s life
To uphold and cherish so that love may thrive
Braving storms, fighting sirens
The hallmarks inherent in love livens

Flame shared warms the cold night
Huddled together enjoying the Northern Lights
Daybreak, the eye of heaven opens
Bringing life, a new day beckons

When the going gets tough and tiring
When the track is rough and unforgiving
Two souls seek out the Living Water
Refreshing the weary spirit; ne’er to thirst thereafter

Just as Newton deliberated beneath a tree
I did so at the oasis where the mind roamed free
Retrospective appraisal waxed poetical
Faithfully penned, epilogue left to the Editor.

Rapunzel

Kings, Queens, Princes and Princesses,
All ye fellow peasants of this land,
Hearken to me inhabitants in the marshes,
All ye creatures that hopped, crawled and ran.

The forth month of the third year,
When the air is fresh and clear,
Came Rapunzel from the neighbouring kingdom,
To dwell in this land for a season.

With hair so long and voice so soft,
With a smile so sweet and words so kind,
Certainly, it'll always captivate one's thoughts,
And never will escape one's mind.

Came the peasant on Perodua Keldai,
So uncommon money can't buy,
Went up to her and said "Hi",
They talked and played; then said "bye".

Life is full of jokes, laughter and talk,
Often, they stained each other's face with chalk,
Each day as they got closer,
The bond of friendship grew stronger.

He told mum about their relationship,
And mum hopes it's at the level of friendship,
He told mum dear Rapunzel loves a prince; not a peasant,
Then mum said, "But still, keep your distance".

As the days flew by,
Mum's advice rings in his mind,
Rapunzel's the only girl he likes - the most,
But he knew he shan't be too close.

Mum said, "Friends: Why one when you can have many, dear?
Be yourself, mix around and you'll be happier",
He can never understand mum's motive,
Nevertheless, it's something constructive.

Friends told him to do what is right,
While mum said, "It isn't the right time",
As he lay down and contemplated at night,
He told himself, "Fat hope! She will never be mine!"

People said, "There're many more fishes in the sea",
But he replied, "Only a queen in a bee colony",
He'll always remember the one who loves, who's kind and always dear,

She is none other than the sweet Rapunzel.
 

The Place I Call My Home

Thought of my school and how I miss it so much. Ah, a place I grew up to be what I am today. A fine institution instilling in her students a sense of responsibility, humility, respect and yes, touching hearts. One of my favourite things to do. To touch hearts - literally. I could go on and on about it but I'd rather bring people on a grand tour, so give me a tinkle.
For the record, varsity is nowhere near the school. A microcosm of the real world, yes, but I stubbornly refuse to accept the pride and the selfishness thereof.
Went through some files and came upon something I penned back in 2002; the year of our sesquicentennial celebration. So here goes...

Five years nearly come to pass,
Everyone's parting at last,
Fond memories of the school will last,
Forever in our hearts.

Years of striving in the school,
Obeying and breaking the rules,
Much knowledge have we salvaged,
So much so we almost become a sage.

To all staffs, we thank,
While they teach we ne'er go blank,
Ever-Joker we are it seems,
And that always leaves them in steams.

Well done to the cooks,
The foods were so good,
And despite the mood,
Nasi Kandar is finger lickin' good.

Leaving all those things behind,
But never out of our mind,
No other schools are better,

Than our beloved Alma Mater.

St. Xavier's Institution

Publishing vanities

What do scientists get when they do research and discover new things? Publish papers. Not that I'm ridiculing them ('cos I'm lucky to be taught by a respected one) but by and large, scientists or rather researchers in a lab are mere humans. Fallible humans.

Working for two months on my final year project has definitely changed my view on this bunch of people I once held in high regards. During my two months tenure as a junior, bottom-of-the-food-chain student working my posterior off, I've been through enough things which made me come to such conclusion: researchers - be it my peers, senior MSc, or even doctorate students of the same lab - are just your ordinary students produced by the country's education system. They may be (a year or two) more experienced that's all.

Often, I see selfishness and the penchant to show one's superiority over a matter. Whilst I'm not delving deep into what many think is the future (and therefore class) of science beginning with the word "molecular", I don't see myself lacking in any area nor should anyone behave condescendingly towards anything un-molecular. Mind you, I have seen more disciplined and knowledgeable people in not-so-molecular lab.

You have proud people who thinks they're at the top and untouchable due to the fact that they're pursuing a higher degree and everything molecular. Mind you people, I believe in myself: that I'm better than most if not all. I think and I question and not accept and do without knowing what's being done.

I love Science. I strongly believe that Science could better serve the world. I don't see the "light at the end of the tunnel", much less an exit for the world today since science is money and fame. Everyone's involved in the race to win recognition and accolades. Scientific applications are pursued only if there's an economic feasibility, the possibility that it fills up one's pocket.

Race I mentioned. It's so difficult to share/borrow stuff and it's so easy to give excuses. A me-me you-you or a mine-mine your's-your's situation. Mind you, borrowed things will be returned (I will at least) and if you have a bulk of stuff kept to gather dusts, why not let it be used and stocks shall be replenished once available. Simple logic.

Perhaps, many will think I'm living my own utopia but then, scientists are not so much different from the legislators and the pen-pushers - all for personal gains. Really, what do such people who says" "I know 'cos I did it before" and "I'm doing the molecular aspect of things" get? Publish papers in journals.

Again, I'd like to reiterate that there's nothing wrong in publishing papers to make known your works but please, as human as we are, never think you're better than others. Have self esteem, yes, but a chauvinist, no. Otherwise, what you do are mere vanities, publishing vanities.

Life Without Limbs

We've heard of disabled people doing great things and an inspiration to many. In Malaysia, we have Anthony Thanasayan who is active in advocating the rights and empowerment of disabled people. Recently, I came across the story about Nick Vujicic from a friend. So, I decided to pen something for the less fortunate folks out there. Blessed be...

Life without limbs does not equate to shattered dreams
Nor a battle lost and the future dims
For the Lord promises to be there to support and uphold
Every soul in Him completed and be made whole.

Do visit these websites:
Disabled Peoples' International (DPI)
Life Without Limbs
Malaysian Animal-Assisted Therapy for the Disabled and Elderly Association (PETPOSITIVE)