Pages

Backdrops

Currently transiting: Loch Lomond, Scotland | Previous destination: Kernavė Archaeological Site, Lithuania

Friday, 29 June 2012

Night Falls

The night falls and the greater light ceded duty to its lesser counterpart. As I prepare for nightfall, it marks the beginning of yet another 'day' for many – man and other creatures alike.

Perhaps it's been so many nights (more than a week) filled with that greyish tint of a somewhat acrid scent that I find tonight especially beautiful. Rain in the past two days, twice today, did seem to freshen things up.

The Milky Way and a tank on Lemnos Island, Greece. (Credit: Konstantinos Vasilakis)

I saw the stars sitting pretty before the blue, night sky (yes, night skies are blue) limited by the size of my window. It's enough.

For from this calmness burst forth a thousand voices. Yet, as I hit my make-believe F5 button, I saw what I had seen moments ago: calm and quiet.

So, be it a flutter and a flurry, or a lull and a hush, I'll take them into my REM sleep knowing things are indeed in control. From the rotation of the Earth to the teardrop from that deep yawn.
 

Friday, 15 June 2012

Terra Incognita

It has been seven years and still counting
The eighth looms with the tears still flowing
In some moments’ reprieve did they ease
Granting an instance of ataraxis

No sooner had the pain gone away
Than the surge of memories crashed my way
Time is a potent salve yet feelings remained grey
More so with every minute on this special day

What seemed like a week ago
With that gratingly gaping hole
Turns out to be a great distance in the eyeshot
As I edge away in a bumbling backward trot

I guess this is my deep end of the pool
One with my coach prematurely pulled
Now left the timing system to motivate me
And the lane markings to guide emotionlessly

Be it emeralds or ametrines
Contact mines or sea nymphs
I backed into the terra incognita
Holding on to her goading to get this far

The daisies stand out against the frigid monolith
Like the warm and welcoming figure I love and miss
Affection, acceptance, and a hearty laughter permeate the air
In the home of the cook, pizzaiola, and counselor-extraordinaire.
           
Canon powershot S100, Hove Cemetery, daisy and stones

Saturday, 9 June 2012

Coffin

The ride along the coast was a ruse
A journey to a destination I couldn't choose
I was paralyzed neck down
Bundled into it; mouth gagged, limbs bound

I can see yet I see not
I'm sane yet I couldn't reason
It's truth and explanation which I sought
Silence - I got nothing but only derision

The rugged lid was ajar
I felt my captor hasn't gone far
I lay there motionless
Feeling hollow, increasing numbness

And then I heard the dreaded thud
The lid was mercilessly shut
With every nails flashed vivid memories
Every blow turned them into miseries

The pain was beyond words
Nothing is able to describe the hurt
I tried to shout but nothing came out
Hoping to hear that it's an April Fool's joke
     but none came about

In the dark, anguish engulfed me
Yet I felt a deep sense of yearning
Longing to see daylight and Aphrodite
To again walk, talk, and stare - grinning

It was two nights of emptiness and cold
Before the full effects dawned upon me - searing
Gripped and bleeding, the throes of alienation unfold
With a bloody heart, I close my eyes
      and it began raining

Edited.
First posted in 2008

Sunday, 20 May 2012

Stupidity: Things Above and Not Things Here on Earth

The things of God are stupidity to many. Nobody, of his or her own volition, seeks after God or things that please Him. If you’re that person, you can stop reading now. After all, if you’re looking for a cogent argument this isn’t the place. If any, only a simple faith exists. Many who argue against what I'm going to say (or type, for that matter) have already made up their mind, not in the least concerned about cogency and rigour, and I won’t bring the roof down doing that.

Think about it for a moment. If our value system is not shaped by the Bible (Matt. 6:19-24), the things we value or treasure consistently let us down when we seek our significance, or satisfaction, or security in those things. The energy spent in pursuing what we think those things will provide—happiness, security, satisfaction—consistently lead to failure. The pleasures we think will satisfy us never really do—at least not for long. In fact, they typically just increase our thirst for more. What futile irony!! Such irony is plainly the very fabric of life when it is lived independently of God.
J. Hampton Keathley, III
Resting in God’s Sovereignty

Christians or not, people stock up (rightly) to the point that these material riches become their only goal (wrongly). The “attainable” goal of a comfortable life. Nothing wrong, right? I put “attainable” because everyone thinks that once it’s achieved, we’d step back, sit down, and enjoy. But the fact is, will it ever be enough?

Now God and the Bible aside, I’ve heard on more than one occasion people who proclaimed: “there’s more to life than {insert your goals here}”. Sure thing. There’s more to doing research than to lose sleep over whether the neighbouring lab’s going to outdo and out-publish in a month’s time.

There’s God.

If only people would align their goals to God’s. Instead of asking, “What should I eat, wear, or the type of property to own?” asks, “What do I do with my gifts?” or “How can I bring glory to God?”

I’m perhaps the biggest hypocrite to be saying all these and echoing Paul, “the least and the most unworthy”. Somehow, the toiling and the sustained rush over the past months; plus the little eye-opening chitchats with driven folks did put into perspective the futility of it all when done to satisfy humanity’s benchmark.

What’s prosperity without a purpose? Self-glory is for the here and now. Said Solomon: Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done
    and what I had toiled to achieve,
everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind;
    nothing was gained under the sun
Ecclesiastes 2:11

I’m not going to change anyone. But I don’t wish to waste my time achieving everything, rely on my [self-perceived] great understanding + knowledge, giving in to the physical pleasures and contemporaneously bankrupting my spiritual life.

No, no. I’m not entering monkhood nor am I shunning the good things in life [that God has created]. All I’m saying is that I need to have my own convictions and not do as everyone else does.

It’s not easy to close my eyes and walk. It’s not too difficult not to peek either, or remove the blindfold and say, “Fine, I’ll do what I know best.”

But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
1 Timothy 6:6-10 

If only the Bible hasn’t been relegated in favour of modern, up-to-date societal demands, or verses cherry-picked to fit [our goals and justify our actions] into the world (oh, we see this often among religionists, don’t we?).

I only hope and ask from God that more people will be like-minded when it comes to goals in life — pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. To serve God and not the gods of this world.

Saturday, 5 May 2012

See You Again, Buddy!

We walked hand in hand – actually a small fist clasped around an index finger – without a care in the world. On a 2-minute journey to the nearest kiosk. One moment I carry him and we attempted to hit Mach 1. The next, we're in a make-believe toboggan; shrills of delight permeated the living room with each gold coin we collected.

When school's over I'll rush to get your favourite mash potatoes, with extra gravy of course. On your bedside, we attend to your toys in the makeshift playground. Nothing seems to bother you; definitely not the housemen on patrol.

Lil' bro, you could've outgrown Mario and prefers french fries now but it means a lot knowing that you still remember me.

Rest now, we'll meet again some day.

Love, 
'Koko' Julian.

This one's for Darius Low Wei Han. At 14 years and a little over 3 months, some might say untimely but I know that God's timing is perfect. Yes, we grieve. We shed tears. But deep down, we're convinced "that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him... [and] we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever." This particular section of 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 is a great comfort.

Being the youngest in the family, the feeling that came over me when you have little [or younger] ones looking up to you as an older brother was priceless. It was a crash course in responsibility. That my words and actions were observed and being emulated. But it was fun. It was enriching. It's special. Looking back, could I have done better? Yes!

Digitized: Eight years ago in January. One of two treasured photos in my album.

The funeral's in a few hours time and I'm wide awake. Time really flies. Till we meet again, little bro.
 

Monday, 23 April 2012

Chasing the Dust Bunnies

Ever since the last posting more than a month ago, I could only stare at the collected dust day after day before deciding that I should just put something up here today. Begone, ye binary dust! I had so much planned for the blog before the weekend but Murphy's Law prevailed. There's nothing much I could do.

April is the birthday month of some wonderful people as far off as Минск. Just saying...

I thought the following song was good when I first heard it. Thanks to neungy1 who put up the English translation on YouTube, I now understand its content and find it rather poignant. Ha!

Stream and enjoy.

Unloveable by Mild


Now, I don't spend my time on the net looking for Thai music but some videos, being viral, will eventually catch your attention. Bell Nuntita sang this song as one of the two-song remix during the audition for Thailand's Got Talent.

I must say, a good performance. And sweet-looking too. Before anyone thinks that I support the cause of the LGBT community, I have made my stand some time back. That said, I won't stand in the middle of the street and scream "God hates fags!".

To do that would be presumptuous and assumptive; playing God and being sanctimonious. This group of people misrepresent the nature of God to serve their confrontational methods; cherry-picking from the Scripture whilst conveniently overlook the others.

On another matter, I would have no problems marching in the BERSIH rally to make a stand (BERSIH 3.0 will be a sit-in though) against all things immoral perpetuate by the government of the day.

I should get back to work now.

Monday, 12 March 2012

Boleh in Birmingham: What Does Being A Malaysian Means?

At last it's started. Lee Chong Wei against Lin Dan for the All-England champion's title. The Malaysian crowd's reception is fantastic. Each time the camera pans across the arena, you see Malaysians cheering and waving.  Who wouldn't? After all it's a worldwide 3 seconds of fame.

These fellas aren't paid to sing "Boleh, Boleh, Boleh" in Birmingham (yes, I swear I heard boleh and not Olé or Oé). They scream for their fellow countryman, jump, and clap side by side.

Back home, it's a little different. When I say little, it's actually heaps. Here we're told not to mingle too much lest we go astray (rightly or wrongly, I'll leave it to the 'learned'). Here, we're taught day after day since 7 years old that the Ahmad, Beng, Chandran, and Dominic ak. Embong have evil plans waiting to be realised. So, we cheer for our own and we jeer at someone who speaks a different tongue.

*Hey, that's another questionable call by the umpire!*

Living/studying abroad was never an option for me but I reading about what life is like over there and I'm always moved by the unity displayed by Malaysians; the most recent one being the worldwide BERSIH rally. I learn from a friend studying in the UK that whenever there are student-organised events, the Malaysians always do food. Ha! Home or abroad, food's on our minds.

But there's more at home. We have bread war! And on Facebook, racially-motivated rumours has been circulating and many gobbled it up blindly. Nobody cares. Why do anything when you can get the people to suspect one another and remain divided?

*Lee Chong Wei conceded a walkover to Lin Dan. Damn! Better game next time, Lee.*

Yes, we've heard this time and again. We're Malaysians outside the country's border and in here, we live within our own racially-demarcated enclave. Enclave because some are still considered immigrants; or made to feel that way.

This is purely my opinion but I suspect it's a fact. Perhaps this one comes a little too late: 55 years late. But whoever said we shouldn't push for a change? A change in [insert your favourite noun here].

Time to dream about change. Good night Malaysians abroad. Good night my friends. Oh, come back and vote-lah! Satay and teh tarik alone ain't good enough, y'know...
   
/*note to JC: javascript below added 19Aug2012*/